About the Author
Inspirational Verse in the free-form style of Emily Dickinson
HT Wagner – is a Freelance writer of WordPress in St Louis, Missouri
She has had a successful career in Project Manager with over 25 years’ experience in research, development and team building, with a strong background in both technical and financial services industry recruiting. She has also built her own successful recruiting company.
She retired and suffered a series of devastating family tragedies that led to a period of deep depression and devastation. Expressing herself in poetry has helped her to rebuild a normal life.
Dee’s ‘turn on’s- are the ocean, swing dancing and comedy.
Her ‘turn-off’s’ are negative people who judge and people who hate.
She and husband of 53 years now live in St Louis close to her family.
You can email her at dwh1nine@gmail.com
JenCareBCE.com
(htwagner@jencarebce.com – under construction)
Inspirational Verse in the free form style of Emily Dickinson
Rosary
My Posts
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(My story)
Dee Wagner~Hinkle
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314-283-8786 (text)
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OTHER BOOKS BY HT WAGNER
SELF-PUBLISHED ON AMAZON BOOKS-
Inspirational Verse in the free form style of Emily Dickinson
Prayer Book of Poems & Other Notions: Verses To Hold In Your Heart
by HT Wagner and Vince Ciarpella | Jul 28, 2021
Paperback – SELF-PUBLISHED ON AMAZON BOOKS-
Living in God’s Space: Inspirational Verses
by Ms HT Wagner and Vince Ciarpella | Jun 11, 20
SELF-PUBLISHED ON AMAZON BOOKS-
As the Fog Lifts in the Garden : Verses to Know that You are not Alone
by HT Wagner and Vince Ciapella | Oct 11, 2021
For the Love of Emily and Me – : A Study of the Inspirational Verse
by HT Wagner and Vince Ciapella | Feb 2, 2022
Price and other details may vary based on product size and color.
by HT Wagner and Vince Ciapella | Feb 5, 2022
BODY OF POEMS
Open and Curious – Sunday, September 30, 2012
Prayer:
I do not want to be outside your Gaze
Like a sheep
The pasture ‘over there’ looks better
Then I realize it is not Your pasture
It is riddled with land mines
And unfriendly folk
Wasted time is on my own
Your time is perfect
Troubling
And always one thought away
You made me perfect
And each moment I stray
Is lost
I become uglier
And silent
To You and myself
A tasty Twinkie
A Big Mac
Feeds the low default brain
And the tongue
That’s all
Focusing on self-only
Going through the dogma rituals
Starves my celestial roommate
Who needs only fresh air…
Mayan Calendar Ends – Saturday, September 29, 2012
He told us that it would end-
Another notch carved in the Tree of Life
We are almost home
It has be a long a crooked journey
Time falls like rain drops and snow flakes
Sometimes buckets-
Confusion and chaos reign mostly
Faith comes in handy at those times
God-on-a-mission-
He took time to make time
And started with a bang-
A Big Bang!
Then He had to figure out the wet from the dry
The low from the high…
He took the shard and scraps from the exploding star
With finesse and a flair-
Aimed His gaze
Like a billiards cue
In just a minute the planets were orbiting His Son.
Sent them into orbit around his little finger and thumb
Hydrogen, Helium….one by one.
Caught carbon’s eye
The Sea came to be
Primoral soup percolating and incubate the life of tomorrow
Pool fish schooling
Intrigued and curious the frog grew legs
And landed on land
With a plop…
And the rest was history..
The makings of mankind
All- in-One God….
the Architect.
The Chemist, – 2022
and a Project Manager.
Momentous ..
In my head-
Existential Kierkegaard
Monumental
Free Will
Hardwired
Hay wired to arrest the urges
Primal
Inherent
Once vital but now
Out-of-date
Passé
Will Power – Friday, September 28, 2012
Spirit assisted
Unavailable to all but man
Reasoning power
Will power
Hidden force
Only discovered by living. (S Kierkegaard)
By doing the hard thing…
Moving matter in motion
By an impelling force
The right hand of God
Freedom from matter
Freedom from form
Becomes the Spirit’s journey
Quest
Life’s work and purpose
Boredom is the root of all evil. (S Kierkegaard)
No power to will
Inertia
Unchanged state
Constant stasis
Stoppage
The force of good
Canceled by the force of evil
Stopping all physical and chemical process
Forever halting and denying the existence of God
Choosing to remain inert
A mass of matter
A mire of earthy mud
Clay foundation
To be borrowed by the gods.
Providence breaks
Life force defines
The human condition
Leaves – Friday, September 28, 2012
Leaves leave us grateful
They leave us in wonder
The glowing green unblemished leaves of spring
Out matched by the venerable timeworn leaves of fall
The photo factory for sin-the-system
Picture this-
The leaf cells march 2×2
Plan in mind to mark their mark
Claim their place
In the scheme of all things green
They leaf
and leaf
and eventually become a tree
A tree with solar panels
To catch the rays of the Son
The grace in the form of the Holy Spirit progeny
The pro-generator of all creation.
The windmill that makes the energy
That moves information through the mind
That permeates and pervades the being
Being of God
Being of man
Co-connected
Through
Energy and information flow (Dr Dan Siegel)
Data of the divine
Honing and refining sires awe
Fineness becomes
Highest quality –
Meditation – Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Why travel to the ends of the earth
When you own a Taj Mahal?
An internal cavern
Of wondrous gems and gold
Why trade a fleeting delight?
A groundless delight?
A meaningless moment?
Supplanting a permanent marker
In the changelessness of the wilderness of time…
Why imprison your immutable,
Perpetually abiding roommate
To a long night
Of arid thirsty frost
With a Litany of a void-
TV delights the ephemeral part of us
While shackling the soul…
Who invented His carriage
His marriage
And will not be denied
Why listen to the pandemonium of the world
The Din
Dead air
That cogs the Soul’s service…
Of Feathering a nest
To burrow a hideaway
Undying
Timeless
Not bound by time..
God-in-a-Box
Unfasten and fashion
A home for Satan-
Pseudonym for all that is not the Maker-
Reconstruct
Disassemble all that is nonspiritual
Feelings, perceptions
Terrestrial, sensual
and mundane
Consciousness that matters not…
Provisions only to comfort and sustain
The beast
Man sans God-
First Installment – Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Origin and root
Foundational footing
For dispatch
Of energy and information flow
Bedrock of thought
Primitive, crude and simple
Rocky road
Laid down for Dialogue
Communication
Awaiting the next stage
Wiring for the Holy Spirit
Dispatch the Spirit.
As the Falcon Flies – Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Searching for prey
Soaring
Something is missing
A piece that brings peace
Drive to create
and be created
Drive to fulfill
Earth’s destiny with the sky and sea
Wrought from a void
A common destiny we all share
We all bare
The burden of co-existence
Foundress
Fortress
A foundling home
For orphans and beagles
For rough hewn beast to the dainty gnat
All pioneers
Each day on awakening
The smell of creation cooking
Simmering
Smoldering
Succinctly syncopated cacophony
Without which
Confusion reigns
and creation becomes mud from which it was wrought…
Given – Sunday, September 23, 2012
Gift is in the Eye of the beholder…
All have been given an eternity of goodness, wisdom, knowledge..
Dutifully organized each volume of the windfall
In the canyons, caverns and caves the mind
Intending to be summoned back as life relents
Wanes
Clearing, making space
To unbutton the facade
The pretense of living a life of the Spirit
A life in the world
Worshiping idols
Meaningful to the moment
that houses the grotto of the eternal internet-
Thin – Sunday, September 9, 2012
The atmosphere is thin
Looking for substance to grasp
Hold
Become
Urgency screams
and delivers none
Edgy watchfulness
Ready
Waiting
Wanting to find a citizen
To accompany into the haze of tomorrow
Character for what lies ahead
Ready to stop
Get off the treadmill
And just be-
Searching – Sunday, September 9, 2012
Searching the way
Out of an Impetuous storm
Only to find another storm
When will it all end
Or is the reality?
Soul storm
Kernel of being
Stronghold of sanity
Truth
Altruistic love
Empathy
Foreign to the senses
Here comes thunder
Lightening has already struck..
Ego snorts a prideful, pitiful snot
To keep the soul suppressed
Vanquished
His mortal enemy
Mindsight from Ego-ground
Is through a peephole
Only slit in the creation cloth
He believes that if he perceives it,
Tis the truth…
The “hole” truth
and nothing but the small mind truth…
God will figure it out later…
He miffs.
a petty quarrel
Blindness is cured by seeing God
in the living…
Dissolving perception.
Reconnoiter
Realize
Perception is dangerous-
Risky
Has ramifications, mostly dysfunction….
Heaven is here and now
Not out there somewhere
Heaven in the correct function of the temple
That He has been building for the last 4 billion years
It is is our hearts and minds
New and everlasting since the event of the Holy Spirit
Heralded by the crucifixion
We are saved…from dysfunctional thinking,
Dysfunctional relationships and dysfunctional society-
Only My Soul – Sunday, September 9, 2012
Only my soul knows me
My inner thoughts
My inner moods
My ways
Some…. that should be “the highway”
My soul is always welcome
Except when Ego is there
Along with His minions of idols
and idol worshipers
Who bring havoc and distress
and darkness to the soul
Who has work to do
Building a nest in heaven
From the perch in the Cerebrum
Insula
To be exact
The new and everlasting covenant will be realized
On schedule
The Mayan calendar did not lie
When one circuit of creation ends
Another will begin..
The earth is not longer flat
The industrial farmer have completed their role
To make the Jews, Gentiles, Christians and all
Fat, diseased and speechless-
Allowing the Muslims to catch up
Without alcohol,
Without industrial farmed animal protein
and with praying five times a day!
Ignores Hippocrates
“Let food be thy medicine”
and treat only the symptoms
With pills that fix the disorder
But have a blind eye to the abundance of healing components of the whole-
Taken away by industrial farming practices and techniques
That are meant to build and repair…
Dogma at its apogee
Strangleholds the Soul
With ritual and meaningless ceremony…
Only ones left praying are the Muslims…5 times a day.
911 signaled the end of the 6 the stage of creation
Mayan calendar ended-
And so hopefully shall end the reign of the post-Nazi Nazi’s.
Awareness – Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Perception that lies to us
Intentional or unintentional
Enmity is
State of mind
Created when the ancient world
Was replaced by the Breath of the Spirit
When an new layer of awareness and knowledge
Came to be
Mortal perception
Folded into the Truth of the Spirit
Jesus cured the bling, deaf and dumb
“Stiff neck”
Yesterday’s news
“Clan” became “Other”
No longer a threat to existence
But the ticket to Salvation
What once was the Cadillac of creation
Became the model-T
What was the T-bone steak of life,
Became the whole grain staff of life
The winds of grace prospered those
Those that “got it”
Embracing others accumulated favor
Prosperity
and Peace
The haughty and proud
Who embraced only themselves
and their clan
Calamity
Disgrace and disfunction
No “Other”
No Grace
Beatles “Nowhere Men”- they become
Sitting in a n owhere Land
Making all his nowhere plans for no body
Doesn’t have a point of view
Know not where he’s going to..
He’s as blind as he can be
Just sees what he wants to see
Nowhere man can you see me at all?
The world is at you command, please listen-
Hating is the ways a means to maintain self-esteem.
Hating feels so good-
Blind to see from the “low” brain perch
That feels good down there
It takes a lot of energy to hold on to hatred and other grudges
When all that time and energy could
All the while
Be spent build the new neural tissue
A saving account in the “high brain” graces
Have to choose
Have to pause at the Narrow Gate
Stop the hate and let the hopeful thoughts pass through…
Hoarding is a way to hold on to material grace
But no one told them that it is a mirage,
An Illusion
Only props to shore-up an effigy-
Being Hated – Wednesday, September 5, 2012
It is-
Connecting points from the past-
the cabin so perfectly designed for someone on a “God Mission”
Outfitted to the “nine’s”
11 miles from town, in the woods
Missing nothing
Laid out to accommodate and reward
Lives live totally inside the Heart of God
Suffering, integrity to unwavering belief
In doing the right thing-
Especially when it was also the “hard thing”
Now I know that is must give back
The cabin he prepared for me
Probably my last week end forever
Abe, Loretta and Billy were my charges
Neglected and ignored
Grace went to others
Who saw more clearly
The ramifications of love
and the wanton sadness of a missed opportunity…
The wounds and scars
And empty robin’s nest that I look at each day from my kitchen window….
Billy is not with me, as You intended him to be
I had the tools to heal and the connections to find work
What was lacking was the mind of a saint
Courage to take a leap of faith
and know we would land on our feet.
Eternal Father – Wednesday, September 5, 2012
I feel like I am in a state of suspension..
It is over
I am in mourning
Where will I go?
What will I be?
Around and around I go.
The atmosphere is thin
Laden with lead..
I will go where You go
I will follow as long as I can see You…
Feel You
Know You are near.
Only me can make you abandon me
Only me can choose to stray…
You are present and accounted for
I am but a waffling, wayward hungry soul..
On training wheels at best.
Where will the grace come from?
Will I recognize it when it comes?
How will I be able to see God in all I meet?
Freeze…
I am frozen, fearful…
Desiring desire
Hoping for happiness,
Knowing it depends on living in truth.-
Wayfarers – Monday, August 20, 2012
Suspended in mid-sentence
Suspended in life..
Eternity may just be beginning
The chemistry of creation
Measures each step
By the weight of it passion
The intention to survive
Thrive and love
Survival depends on many things
The first being the plan
The Godgerm
Nature created fish with gills
Snakes with venom
Cats with claws…
and Man with a Soul
Each an individual blueprint
With specs to follow
Building materials are plentiful
Abundant
Matching what is needed to what fits
Is the Key-
Only certain substrates unlock specified proteins
Their in lies “the bite”
What tastes good, but does not fit
Remains useful for the mouth only
What tasted good, but does not fit
Must be disposed of
The blood is very efficient at removing unneeded substrates
Quick solution is space in the brain for dairy or in the joints
Heart for animal protein and fat,
Infants, we are
Still too young to understand
That taste is mostly unreliable and inefficient-
I am Alone – Sunday, August 19, 2012
One mind
One soul
One God alone
Almighty
Expecting
Relating
Feeling for feelings
I am alone
Beyond repair-
Beyond care
Hopeful
and sure
Sure that only the truth
Will save us
Save us from ourselves
and our primitive mentality
Of Me
Me only
No interest in other
No interest in becoming “We”
God is in “We”
Others are too
But those who hate
Can never be “we”
Nor can those who lie, cheat and steal
Letting feeling get hurt –
All turn grace into violence-
Presuming, being angered and prejudice only cause blockage in “WE”
To be “WE”
Being intentional is required-
Intention is the chariot of the Holy Spirit
Who drives a mean stake
Into the false heart of Ego…
Intention is faith and trust
All balled up into one
One God alone
With me inside
Inside his wounds
Inside his Sacred Heart
Knowing that someday the Temple
Of the new and everlasting covenant
The tripartite brain
Father, Son and Holy Spirit
Will be complete
Only when we can recognize and accept other as “WE”
Ready in the Wings – Sunday, August 19, 2012
Looking for wholeness
Wholeness amounts to striking out the ways of the word
Positive and negative
Negative first
Hone in on the fun – but empty activities of life
Make room for exploring and getting to know the hidden spirit
The perfect One
Who need nothing but to have a clear path to the Almighty
A way home
In prisoned in the envelope of Ego
Mostly mud and clay
Selfishly guarded to protect his unimportance
His desire to control
and eliminate “others”
The souls ticket to freedom
While slimy creatures lurk in the clan of Ego.
Out dated and unreliable
But they like it that way.
Their days are numbered
Their mission is to protect the soul
and diminish – so the soul can become
Become a star that will always shine
The will is on Ego’s side
Intention born of Faith is the fast track out of the Ego cave
The will enjoys pleasure
Intention is God’s will
And the battle ensues..-
Meditation – Sunday, August 19, 2012
Discursive
Rambling, digressive
Ruminating..
Breaks into
Contemplation
General loving knowledge
Loving and peaceful awareness
God’s grace is received passively
Like sun rays
“Son” bathing
Empty thought ways
With Eyes wide open-
Gratitude Journaling – The Neuroscience of… Sunday, August 19, 2012
Intention drives the flow of the energy of the mind
The Holy Spirit guides our intention
The Holy Spirit – the energy flow in our mind
Unless Ego is in charge
The it all goes “down stream”
To his lair
The lair that God created as a vehicle of the Soul
God’s not there
In Spirit, anyway
But gratitude for the ways and means
Will only bring more neural firing
To build and strengthen the lair of the Soul
In the Insula – structure of the midbrain
He is all present in all matter,
But His spirit is moving away…
Away from the Ego mindset
That is selfish and proud
Hoards things
Hates others
Bully – he is,
Instills fear in the hearts of all that judge him…
Coaxes his clan to do so too
By over-generalized “put down”s
Revenge-get even mentality
Shunning all who are not like him
Coveting what never be his
(Hippocampus-Jacob wrestled with A Man until dawn (of civilization) and would not let him go until the Man gave him his blessing (father of the chosen race).. He was given the blessing but his hip was thrown out of socket. Hippocampus is the structure in the midbrain that is very essential to taking implicit thoughts and storing them in the explicit memory (autobiographical ) in the right hemisphere of the brain)
Impulsively acts
On the first urge
Perception is truth
As inaccurate and unreliable
Perfect tool for preserving his image
And tearing others down.
The truth is that Ego was born blind
He was doing the best he could
With the thinking equipment that God gave him..
He was living in the basement of a cathedral
While the temple above was under construction..
It was nice enough
A little dark
Monks were chanting hope
But the Holy Spirit has not yet arrived…
The prophet years may have been the beta test for the new Cathedral/Temple
The old Temple destroyed
The Crucifixion was the bookmark for the official initialization
and Grand Opening on the new Temple
The New and Everlasting Covenant..
We have the tools to be nice to others…
Clan no more under this covenant…
The blind, deaf and dumb no long have any excuse to remain in the lair.-
There Is Nothing – Friday, August 17, 2012
Where there is nothing
God is found in His purest
Clearest perception
He can be seen, tasted and heard
without distraction
Only getting there is the rub…
With the world always creeping in
Encroaching on God’s territory
It is work to clear the path to meditation
Impossible without His grace
and desire to persist
To call out
To leave the comfort
Of the known
Fear of being left behind
Repels followers on-
Empty – Sunday, August 12, 2012
He is the Space between all matter
He is all existence
All earthly creation-
Plus the matter in between
He is the energy that makes thoughts flow
He cradles and guides each neuron
To where we want them to go
He is chaos that disrupts the pandemonium of life
He is the upheaval that renders Ego helpless
He is found in every heart and mind
He is why we are
We are why He is
He is the chemistry of compassion-
God created God
and remembers all
He is found in small minds
and in large boxes
But most of all he likes cats!!
Cats eat the rats
That eat the whole grain
That we need to make neural fiber
To make smart and sacred thoughts
Grain should not be few to cows
Grass should
Meat should not be fed to smart minds
But dumb ones who want to stay that way
Thinking the binary way
Not on all cylinders
But only the ones that make them feel good…
Live for pleasure only
Grain fed cows
Monster Martha’s
Horny males
and brain a dumping ground for
Keys that open no doors
Fall on the neural paths
To trip up thoughts and
Make the highways
Thought paths littered with debris
Of the greedy
The ignorant
and all those who care not…
Only the Low brain can sin
Their sin is only ignorance
Their fear holds them back from what might have been
Mired in dysfunction
Like a pig in mud-
It Only Serves Me – Saturday, August 11, 2012
I would like to spend my days
Reading and analyzing scripture
I would like to cloister myself
In a quiet spot and just be with You
I would like to hold Your word in my heart
While the candle burns for the world around
I would like to hold You
And You alone
Leaving all behind
Leaving all to their circumstances
But I cannot be that selfish
What you have given me
I – not mine to keep
But to share and bring others home.
My cross is leaving You hanging
Without me
Always by Your sacred side
You are there, now, then and ever shall be
It is I who must withdraw
And spread you Greatness
and not withhold
The pain is great
Too great
But it is my mission
My charge
To share with creating
All you give
You have to keep showing up!
I Found God – Saturday, August 11, 2012
When I was not looking
Always busy looking away
Looking around
Upside down-
I thought He was just up there some where
The I realized
That he was
But more
Skylander
He created of himself
For Himself
All by Himself
Because??
He could …
He ordered order
But Chaos needed a job
So He formed Chaos to muck it up
So He could create more
To test the minds and hearts of created man
More Alchemy
More chemistry,
To make things grow, build simpatico
Simpatico that that results from graceful thinking,
That makes for graceful living
Harmony within the Heart of God
Integrity of parts of God
That fit together to make matter
Parts of a part only make matter worse
So where is God?
He is the matter that He created
But his is also invisible, infinite spaces in-between.-
Off to Wisconsin – Saturday, August 11, 2012
Retreat from the heat of the “Son”
Desolate, dry seasons
Make it possible for the harvest to blossom
Necessary to weed out the weak…
The strong
Strengthened by grace stored in the heart and mind
Desolation a time to reap
A time to store
A time to see God through clearer prisms
Undistorted by all things not
All things nothing
All things banal and unforgiving
How do I meet You?
In the 3 chimney stacks of the power plant
Looming Large
Father
Son
and Holy Spirit
Bring power Grace to the houses
At the end of the power lines
Grace to bring life
To sustain life
You are the mind and heart of the angry and confused
The lost and alone
Leaving for us to find the hurt
Soothe the damage
And bandage stop the bleeding
and give You a chance to heal
We are the doctor’s assistant
Not the healer
That is why you are here…
Within each and every one, in all living things as well
Inertia is not really inert
But the the balls that are juggled to create and for the rest of creation
Since the Big Bang
You have been the Space in between
Suspending creation and make it holy
Directing the flow
Accompanying
Guiding the way
You are Ever present
Along the way as we labor and work
To build the Temple to house
The Triune God
The midbrain, prefrontal and cerebrum
Nicely perched at top the basement structure
Of the primal brain….
3 to 4 billion years in the making-
Fear of God -Tuesday, July 31, 2012
I fear loss of you connection..
I fear that I am not good enough and underserving of you presence…
I feel lost and alone
Happy-sad
Because I know there is nothing in the world
That can satisfy this desire that you have created
In my space in the cosmos.
It is mine,
All mine to maintain,
Keep clean
Draw others into…
I do that, for the most part,
Not well at times…
Something is missing…
Like IVery roaming the house
Looking for Gunter-
Who died yesterday…
He is not there and will never comeback..
A hole in Ivery’s heart
A bonded mate
Sharing the same space for a time…
The Next Nazis – Industrial Farm Machine – Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Concentrated
Clustered
Congregated
Extra pleasure-
Displaces so many things named God
Choosing taste-only, TV,-only, games-only,
Physical relationships-only
Only criteria: “it feels good”
Starvation of the Spirit
Extreme hunger for goodness and grace
Famine for the bones…
“enriched” 60% less for the bones
GMO
Death from lack of undisputed soul love
Harmless sex-
Makes a potential Soulmate scatter
Recede from view
Vanish
Choose truth from the “get-go”
Love-at-first sight is speaks to the heat
But it must go both ways or it is a lie.
Keep looking
Time is of the essence
Essence of love is truth.
Nutritious food should tastes good
Not just a concentrated sweetness
By lack of whole food
With essential nutrients industrialize farmed or GMO…genetically modified out
Amino acids are not the same
Modify a protein by change one or two amino acids
and the “key” will no longer fit the “lock”.
So….Industrial Farm Engineers has not strategic plan
For the undigested, miss and mal-formed proteins disposal
Misfits navigate to the brain (memory problems), heart (attack and stoke), immune system (allergies, cancer, joint dysfunction),
That mentality is that of ignorance…Before Eve…ignorance…
She desired knowledge so much
That she was willing to bite the apple…
God allowed because she shepherded in the next leap in creation..
The midbrain, prefrontal and cerebrum actualization…
Preparing the brain for the initialization of it by the Holy Spirit
The crucifixion being the Bookmark of the event…
The prophet years being the beta test of the structures in the midbrain and frontal, particularly the Insula….
The temple for empathetic thought….
The culmination and the reason for creation…
So if someone really wants to kiss you,
And it would feel so good..
What is the decision…Do it…
No harm in a little kiss
Or If I use this time (another idol to worship)
Displacing time that should be spent
In the arms of my soulmate…
Hard to do when in the arms of a person
That you know you do not have feelings.
Sip of coke…nothing in it that causes cancer…
Just another betrayal of the immune system-
Who desperately needs tea, coffee, 100% fruit juice..
The list goes on…
But the process should be changed to always pause and reflect
And only and always follow the path out of ignorance
Truth
Eve knew that the path to good was truth
and the path to evil was to remain in primal thinking..
Ignorance and presumption-
In a world where Carpenters get resurrected —
Anything can happen-
Help Me Find the Word– Tuesday, July 24, 2012
They are out there
Somehere
Waiting to be thought
And born into our world
Nature needs nurture
Nature perceives
Low “default” Brain prospective
Where chaos reigns…
Old
Unreliable
Nurture is the environment
After the thought is free willed through the “Narrow Gate”
Dividing line between the Low brain and High Brain
The kingdom of the Holy Spirit-
She Felt Hated – Sunday, July 15, 2012
Spinning
Swirling around in space
In a space created by me
Not what I thought it would be
Learned from my Mother how to be…
A servant, she was
And proudly so
Mother-less at four years
She found herself
Alone and frightened
Like Moses, she was imprisoned in a new life
A life of coldness, harshness and fear
The farm chores became the caregiver template
Feelings so primal and tender feelings
Remained uncorrected
Undeveloped
Using her primal filters-
Unreliable and inefficient
Facing adulthood with a deficit
To connect with societal ease..
Her brilliance soaked in fear
and fueled by whole grains and produce from the sustainable farm
On the seven acre sustainable farm
She slaved to clean, cook, launder, plant, grow, harvest and preserve
Her four small needy children needed and loved her
Much like love a beloved servant
The Garden of Eden
The Abby with the Gregorian Chanting monks
Came to an end after WWII 1953
She lost her Camelot-
Her little ones were growing away
Her duties to them would forever change…
Indoor plumbing, grocery store convenience…
She lost raw dairy, grass-fed chicken and pig
Lost the manure fertilized vegetable garden…
Out side of Eden was a living hell…
The processed dairy became a mangled protein to clog in the brain
Developing dementia
Enriched flour stripped of the germ and bran
Starved the brain function-she became obese
Trying to please her maturing children
Baked the processed refined bread that nourished not the body
and in the end, no the even the soul…
Her only solace was the daily Mass
A mile walk-
“Days of our Lives” streaming
and to fill the gap-
Phone time with her friends-
The Glancing Point[2] Secure – Sunday, July 15, 2012
Next Gen
My beginnings – Born July 29, 1947
Feast day of St Martha
(God’s sense of humor)-
A weekly maternal gestation-
The chanting monks of Subiaco Abby-
Six years of Camelot
Sustainable Farm in Subiaco
Mass at the Abby with the Gregorian Chant
The chorus of Benedictines
Ceremonious and solemn-
When as a new born I cried-my brother
became the caregiver and attachment was secured…
My lot – to help with the garden, feeding and canning chores
and care for the cats-
Discipline was light to no discipline-
Three brothers, a sister and playmate to be-
Schooling – 1953-65 and marriage 1667 to a tournament male[3]
Children – 1969 baby girl, 1971, baby boy…
Instead of a sustainable farm to manage and run
What would “Martha” do?
Do all tasks, perfectly-
Never sit down like “Mary” and enjoy the show”
Mary would prioritize, children first
And let the rest fall in place…
The Martha Mom in me took charge and did it all-
A legacy of toil, industry and purposeful resolution
Tasks must be done….(even if Jesus is in the next room)
The children were entertained with a quilt on the floor or Baby Einstein.
[4]
No caregiver – insecure attachment formed
We are hardwired to recognize our caregiver by electronic wiring in the form of speaking and hearing….”take turns” communication.
Without “take-turns” communication, the Martha Mom caregiver becomes seen as an outsider who is suspicious and should be approached with caution or anxious ness, fearfulness or hate.
Future Generations:
Martha Moms may attempt to correct the basic emotions[5] of their children so that they will develop to mature behavior. Age 6 to 12 is the incubator for the germs of compassionate thinking.
Pre-adolescent mentality – Presumption is often their truth
Overcoming the thought that “If I think a though it must be true,” starts to awaken in the pre-adolescent mind. The mind is now beginning to take another’s point of view in to account. In a secure attachment, calling to consciousness their self-orientated and egocentric view
Basic filters of extra tender feelings remain in pre-adolescent state, judging others and using a negative spin on gossip, greed, envy, anger.
Enmity for “others” is still hardwired and unless it is corrected compassion and empathy will never develop to refine adult behavior.
Insecure attachment corrections are a difficult obstacles to overcome for a Martha Mom.
If not accustomed to “take-turns” communication between mother and child, any suggestions from MM will often be received with suspicion and refutal-
Insecurely attached children see the Martha Mom as an outsider and will resist correction…Tender feelings will hurt, the advise will not be trusted-
A week in Iraq Friday, July 6, 2012
This week has been like a tour in Iraq.
I hope it is over.
Sometimes days are dry
So dry
Parched,
As is the temperature outside
People are still bogged in the heart of the evil One-
Their mortal bodies still using their default brain
Like continuing to use a generator after the storm has passed
And the electricity has been restored…
Satisfied and content in their dysfunctionality
Happy trapped int their fly trap
At least the refrigerator is on..
Blind to a better way
Contently with impaired by ignorance
Dysfunctional and in a faithless mentality
Certain that their way is the true way
It is what it is and shall remain
In a Fixed Action pattern
Closed to curiosity and possibility..
Taste is the driver for gluttony
If it tastes good, eat it
The ignorance keeps them in their cave
Competent in their in incompetence
Voracity in their underdeveloped consciousness
Throwing darts into the shadows of the night
Knowing that sooner or later at target will be hit
Target shooting works in a world with whole wholesome food
Not so much, with altered, refined food, once whole
Now trapped, happy, TV, movies, novels that “fill” God’s time
Idols – they are,
Displacing what matters with what matters not
Putting God “on hold”
Impudent
Mannerless
We are always looking…
But do ever really see?
Kick the can down the road…
The meditational work to be done
Compassion cannot be manufactured in the “default” brain..
Only by shutting it down can the meditating “monk” neurons mine the Insula
and build the muscle of Empathy-
Operating in the default brain is easier
and more pleasurable to the five senses.
The unseen, unfelt work of meditation and prayer…
Neural currency or grace is only won by shutting down the default brain
We must love one another
Or die
It is easier not to do “the hard thing”
“The hard thing is required for the quality of existing now and in the after life..
“Other” ruffles me-
We are hardwired to be suspicious of “other”.
“Others” take away time from “self”-
Takes away from time fillers like TV movies and all the sensory vacuum.
“I love everyone-
Unless they are not like me”
Harmless chatter about the to my clan
Is not gossip!
“look after my own”
‘It feel good to get angry”…
Why pause and reflect and miss the opportunity to feel…
For a feel satisfaction of “getting even”
And prayer?
That is for dummies
Where do they go?
They are not felt…
They are not seen?
Sometimes He cannot hear us in since He mostly resides in His God-in-a-box
He does not seem to hear them in there-
Where Have You Been? – Thursday, July 5, 2012
I have been looking for you
For all time…
and now You are nowhere to be found.
You are gone…
Or is it me who has left you??
Your dwelling place
Unknown
Mindful
Heartful
All of the above
Outside “being” is the world
and Your Holy Spirit won’t be found there..
The world was created to shelter the Spirit
Sanctuary for it
Not to institutionalize It.
Spirit “work”
Welding new neural pathways
Enlarging “God-ness” from within
Displacing the world
Spark by spark
One neuron at at time…
It is impossible to serve two masters-
Building Empathy – Thursday, July 5, 2012
Empathy
Destroys the enemy of Creation
The Ego
Spirit-less matter
Abated by the Spirit
Humble
The meek
Poor in Spirit
Inherit the Kingdom
The proud
Inherit the earth
And all of the earthly burdens
and stockpiles of insignificance
Temporal and Fleeting
Leaving the Spirit within-
Gaunt and forever deficient
Imperfect
Out of empathy flows mercy and justice
Peacemakers know truth-
They are the next-door neighbor to empathy
The next generation
The rights of passage
From the low (default) brain dysfunction
To High Brain Heaven. – God’s Kingdom on earth-
Industrial Farm Machine – Thursday, July 5, 2012
Concentrate pleasure
At the expense of God’s plan.
Choose taste, TV, games, relationships
Based on “it feels good”
Displace what God wants you to do now-
Choose truth
If decision is clouded by ignorance
Truth does not have a chance-
Food that tastes good
Often is concentrated sweetness
With essential nutrients industrialize farmed or GMO…
Genetically Modified out-
That mentality is that of ignorance…
Before Eve…ignorance..
She desired knowledge so much
That she was willing to bite the apple…
God allowed because she shepherd in the next leap in creation…
The Midbrain, prefrontal and cerebrum actualization..
Preparing the brain for the initialization of it by the Holy Spirit
The crucifixion being the Bookmark of the event.
The prophet years being the beta test of the structures in the midbrain znd frontal, particularly the Insula….
The temple for empathetic thought….
The summit and the reason for creation…
So if someone really wants to kiss you,
And it would feel so good..
What is the decision…Do it…
No harm in a little kiss
Or If I use this time (another idol to worship)
I am displacing time that should be spent
In the arms of my soulmate…
Hard to do when in the arms of a person
That you know you do not feel fondness-.
Sip of coke…nothing in it that causes cancer..
Just another betrayal of the immune system
Who desperately needs tea, coffee, 100% fruit juice…
The list goes on..
But the process should be changed to always pause and reflect
And only and always follow the path out of ignorance
Truth
Eve knew that the path to good was truth
and the path to evil was to remain fastened in the past..
Ignorance and presumption-
Waiting – Monday, July 2, 2012
Not knowing
Wondering
Wandering unabated
Wishing
Regretting
Knowing the alternative is completely quiet
and probably tongue-tied
Optionlessness
Triumphant…
All that remains is an empty void
Rapture
Craving connection with Him
Hoping He sees my heart
Hoping He hears my prayers
Sabor a Me
Savor me
Remove all senses not of Light
Feel the brightness
The Glow of Being
Without the intrusion of the world
All that is not God
All that distracts
and draws us outside his circle of grace
Circle of Love
So sweet
So fatherly
Without apprehension or suspense
Or expectations
With Joy unabated-
8:00 Mass – March 29, 2008
Without worry
Without distraction
I heard Your Voice today
You spoke lowly but clearly-
I knew You were there
The bread was broken and
Placed in my hand
My spirit received You with rejoicing
Your brokenness healed my brokenness
From within-
The Artist – March 29, 2008
He is all things
In Him all things are held together
Can a painting see and see the Artist?
The mind of Christ,
The image of God
Came in human form
To bookmark an unseen event
The initialization of the mid brain
The Limbic system
Unlocking footpath for thoughts to escape
Leaving the agony of the Primal Cave behind….
The dysfunction that has kept man bound in chains
To wade in the mud of earthly worry and anxiety….
Functioning with unreliable, out dated software
With presumption and best guess
Criteria for selecting the Leader…
The Truth of the Time
Modus operandi…. later identified
As the seven deadly sins.-
Ascending beyond the primal brain was the mid-brain and cerebrum
The cathedral of the Kingdom was being built.-
Through the prophet years…
Finally open for business…
Owner’s manual built on the old Testament
The triune Mind of Christ
Snake like stem of the reptiles and old Testament rules…
Mid brain designed to streamline empathy
and decommission the basal brain thought..
To the cerebral memory…
To the Kingdom of Heaven-
I Am – March 29, 2008
I am be
I can be
For the joy I have
I will be
For the time
Be cool
For the time
Be a fool
But above all things
Just BE. .-
Treasure – 2008
Treasure hidden within
A shroud of Mist
A shroud unknowing
Reserves concealed within the cavernous subconscious mind.
Consigned with deliberation…
To be uncovered at a predestined time and place
To be sought…
A hunt…
Like of an Easter egg …
Anticipation of an episode-
Fashioned with a grand crescendo
At the dawn of our soul…
From the foundation of time…
The creation schema was laid down…
The genome packed with rations and necessities
To finish mission assigned….
In the Template for Soul’s life labors…
Shards of celestial fire
Begins at ground zero….The Genome
Gene on a mission-
The first stitch to be knit in the breath of life…
Fully developed become the
Fruits of the Holy Spirit
Impediments…
Those who worship other gods..
Ignorance
Egocentric persona
Distraction destroys “Soul work”…
To mine the genome.
Waste restricts and blocks
Slows down
Or snuffs out the celestial spark….
Flames die out to cinder…
The Soul wildfire demands spiritedness…
Zeal and the passion of prayer
Prayers unsaid form a black hole
Of embers undiscovered
Inertia…
Hesitation..
The refusal to “do the hard thing”
Become cowardice and steal all the good that might have been..
Genome is a well-ordered whole
Treasure Island inside
Solemn and thoughtful pirates required…
Fear is a Thief that steals all the good…
that might have been….William Shakespeare-
God creates creation by dwelling in it
Morphing It
Being It
Temporal home formed from
Air
Water
and Rock
Appointed by the thought of God
The Spirit of all things not physical,
Belongs to God
Before the indwelling of the Spirit
Man was an Earthen Vessel only….
The Heart of being
The egoless Spirit
The Spirit
The Chosen DNA became “set aside”
And became the instrument
The Means
To transport the Arch of the Covenant
The Holy Grail
The righteous essence of God
Married to mankind-
The greatest thing
Has no arm or legs
No wheels or wings
Was born out of nothingness
Moves mountains-
Shifts sand
Makes erasers out of storms
Roams the universe
Is the Universe
But makes our hearts His home-
Who am I? – April 16, 2008
I keep trying to make myself
Into something that I’m not
Maybe because I have never
Known who I was supposed to be
I can’t give perfectly
I can’t help perfectly
My memory leaks
My thoughts think
Slowly like molasses
People bore me
Animals scare me
I am tired of being tired
All I want to do is look inside
And see something there
I see an invisible God
At work melding Creation
Letting me do it my way-
My way has only ever worked
With abundant grace
God is holistic holy love
Complete and unadulterated
He is the space between the molecules
Find your way next to Him
And you will never want to be apart
Man alone comprehends not
The afterlife
Man without cognizance of the Spirit
Knows only clay and dirt
And is content
and unaware
The Soul is its ticket
We compete to survive
At least, the fittest do
We eat
We sleep
Afterlife….
After thought….
Genesis – 2008
Conception
The soul’s dawn
The rib of Adam’s genome first
Then Eve softened the cosmic blow..
A Sacred variegation of the clay
Shaped by free will
The Covenant amorphous
Vague
Nebulas
Faith required to read it
The God-Mind in mankind-
Saint on Training Wheels – 2008
I look to You for strength
My mind had made me a prisoner in my body
Boundaries once open and free
Now Narrow…
Feeling that I should be somewhere else
Trapped and hesitating in the darkness
I ruminate
I recoil
I see myself no more as me
But as a saint-on-training – wheels
Better than Western Medicine alternative
More drugs..
Plea (Suscipe St Ignatius) – 2008
You have graced me with a soul
This soul and everything it needs
To accomplished Your will
Ir is Yours…From the start
I return it to You..
How foolishly I used these gifts
Thought they were mine
Now Your gifts lie dormant
If I survive this winter of mine
My hope for spring is
That You will keep giving your Holy love
Use Your gifts with wisdom and courage
And renew our Covenant
Once again-
Where God Lives – 2008
God just didn’t fashion mankind
Out of nothing
To do nothing
Our purpose does not include
Spending time worshiping other idols…
Or spending all of our time is thinking “low road” thoughts..
The vineyard without a keeper
Becomes just a plot of overgrown weeds
Vines not producing fruit
Are pruned
Collected and destroyed
Empathy and kindness become fruit
When “It’s all about me”
Not enough grace is obtained to purchase
Real estate on the “high road”
One becomes barren
and Lonely
Aimless
Pointless and futile
Covenant is all about Other
No excuse since the Mid brain has been initialized
and open for business..
A harvest of grown by compassion yields more fruit
God’s Grace is the sap
That courses through our sacred vines
Reaching out to all those who love Him
And obey His commandments
God is for real-
Desires – April 9, 2008
Lamenting
Mourning
What should have been
But never was
Going back steals time from tomorrow
It is within me to long for and
Settle In the Heart of God …for all eternity
I fear my decisions
Bad judgment
Tether me to the earth
Wrongs must be righted
Rights must be loved and grown
Forever must wait-
My Head is Heavy – April 9, 2008
My head is heavy
With the lack of my mind
My heart has holes
That let the love out
I can see with my eyes
But only darkness
My ears scream for silence
And my mouth obliges
When the fog lifts
And it always does
And the Delusions surface
Real or imagined?
Indistinguishable-
Unclear – Holy Spirit – 2008
Spirit of Truth
Spirit of Being
Yolks us to God
Exists outside of deceit
Deceit becomes a blister on the soul
A violation
Displacing the love that could have been….
Reclaim
Recover
Or consequences remain.
Desire wills love
and love wills desire..
Desire evokes action
Action is the engine of creation
We were created to return to God
Held back by matter
Of this earth
By involving free will—
Making it a sentry
Our choices determine
Whether we return to God or dust
Ego-
Who’s self-control
Along with the rest of the clan
Stay behind…
On the Low Road…
Finding truth is random…
And rare…
CYA default…
The truth is best known by God
Pride and prejudice
The proud
Oh-so-very-Tender feelings
Disallowing true communication with others
Fearing retribution–for fear of perceived insult
Presumption rampant
Holds only a thin slice of God’s truth
Control…reading God’s mind…
Lust….Gluttony
Envy…Coveting and more
Choices made are in a vacuum of presumption…
Not in trust and faith
Choices made with reason..
God’s eye view
Consequences tend to be
Hassle free
Seamlessly and stressless?
Let it be-
Silence Wakes My Soul – April 9, 2008
Silence awakes my Spirit
Longing to speak with me
Longing to be with me
Noise of the world
Creeps in and confines
Limits…
Muffles the essence…
Blurred intuition…
Hides…
Where to cast the net?
Without the world at hand and accessible….
Daily conclaves
To discuss the
“The state of Being”
Burden, crosses, victories all..
The weight of the world
Alone
Grace has run dry
Conversations seem out-of-true…
The judges are out and about
Lurking…
Looking…
To trip you up
The energy once piloted…
Has been pirated by
A burglar barnacle attached to the Soul’s core …
Stealing energy-
Soul – Lost and Alone April 9, 2008
The soul is mostly
A helpless force
Ego …… Mostly oblivious to the spirit within
At the mercy
Of our free will
Soul needs to recoil..
Away from the fray, the pack-
The Pity Party has Begun – April 9, 2008
When the world intrudes
and closes in on the space inside
The Spirit Soul weeps
Dies a little..
Sloughs off…
Molts…
It Purges all not sacred…
Mindfully cleanses and purifies…
All worldliness that is not Soul…
Like grapes in a wine press
Crushed
Not heard but felt…
Life, as we knew it. grinds to a halt..
Creation slows to a crawl…
From the soul’s prison
Surge the tears
Soak the ground
Beneath Ego’s feet
Unaware
Oblivious
Clueless
“It is all about me-go”-
At the Precipice – 2008
At the precipice
Rock-face cliff
A road blindly leading
To tomorrow
The storms
The blistering heat
The wrong turns
Set backs
Strength drained
Allowing for
Suffering and hardship
Gives rise to truth realized…
Accelerates about prayer
Brings forth…
Stamina and strength
A powerfully built soul can carry the weight of any Cross
Prayer
Energy maker for the soul
Generates grace…
The fuel for Creation…
The knit-miester for our being-
Eye into the Core – 2008
Peeking inside
The soul holds court
Things seem conflicted
Suffering…Makes extra space for God within
Silence is an amusement park ride
While Ego steers clear and shuns….
Dishonesty and lies take up space reserved of God
Do not belong…incompatible
Like dirt on a rug
Needs to be shake often
Left undisturbed
Slows God down….
Thorns must be removed for healing to begin…
Or get to be wounds that never heal.
Things that can’t be taken away –
Time, words, or opportunity-
Womb – April 9, 2008
The fertile womb…
“The first shall be last and the last shall be first”
God prospered the Chosen race….
Abraham and Sarah’s progeny
While Abraham and Hagar’s progeny Ishmael waited to be last
Both to conquer the Americas,
The baton was passed to the 15th century Catholics
Assisted by WW II birth control, industrial farming…
Abraham and Hagar beget Ishmael
The Last
The baton was clearly passed to Hagar’s children
The Muslims..They are keeping the New and Everlasting Covenant..
The cradle of civilization
At last, the Muslims hold the fertility card
The Winning ticket
The fertile womb holds the
Promise of hope in the
Sage syncopation of the Covenant…
Forms the right to be
Matchless wonder-
Nothingness comes in many forms
Love of what can never be….
Hatred exacted on another soul….
Building a mansion with many empty rooms….
Hearing only the voice of Self…
Eyes that look the other way…
Hearts that beat only one beat…
Oneness is born of truth
Veritas-
The Tapestry of Life – 2012
Jewish Legend
Early in the life of our universe, the universe exploded into countless pieces of light and they lodged as sparks in every piece of creation. Each one has exactly what is needed to repair the world that we can see and touch.
The tapestry of life –
Woven by the Hand of God
We are the threads
Each thought, word-
Opportunity
Action
Whether be
Sin or success-
Forever remains
Cannot be taken back
A shard of creation
Sparks-
We are
With all that is needed to repair the world
We see and touch
It takes faith to realize this-
Faith – 2008-
Abraham
Abraham knew God so intimately-
That he was willing to sacrifice his son.
A ram caught in the thicket
Was reward for his faith
Knowing that God always has a purpose
Abraham
The bleeding edge of creation
Obeyed
Many spirits are extinguished
Because we fear to take up a cross
Fear the difficulty
Fear the cost
A cross is a lottery ticket to grace
Grace puts us back
In the Garden
Three Things You Cannot Take Back – 2008
Time
Words
Opportunity
Lost in time
We have the free will
To choose a cross
Or take the easy road
The road of a coward
Creates inertia
Of Spirit and
The death to the Soul
Faith Awakens-2012
Faith awakens Grace
A seed
Deeply planted
Expectedly emerges
Only to be freely lavished
By the generous rays of the sun
Like the seed
Faith germinated
And virtue and confidence
Takes on a life of its own
Kindness, compassion
Crosses to carry
Grace to win
Love Who You Are – 2008
We cannot be another animal,
Flea
Or fig
Souls won’t fit
Spirit burdened with
The temporal load of Ego….
A mind of its own….
Fear and hopelessness
Impale
Impede the growth
Carefully measured at conception
Loaded and ready to fire
With hope and faith
Taking God by the hand
A discerning mind
Sees life from above
Higher Thoughts
Fruits of the Holy Spirit
Not from The Cave
Of the lower ANS brain…
That mostly thinks with out reason
Justice or altruism
Only Ego self
The Poor in spirit
The Humble
Are Rich in God’s eyes
The core of creation
Lies the Heart of Jesus and the Mind of God
The Imperishable Germ
Tuesday, March 13, 2012 stopping point
Abused but not dead
Swaddled the grace–
The gentle rays of love
Desire awakens the core
A prefect celestial blueprint
Opens to a world of possibilities
And consequences
The rain of desire beckons it to grow
But do not awaken it, until it beckons you (Song of Songs)
Imperishable becomes perishable
The law of the universe, love
Determines the range of life
The habitat of the soul
Belongs to tomorrow
The big
Boasting Belly
Landfill for waste-
Scraps
Guilty Pleasure
The unnecessary morsels that
We should have denied ourselves
Or offered up
Like the computer
Unneeded documents
“file save as” – Hogs space
Denying ourselves
Leaves more space
For our partner Spirit
To do for others
And share in creation
Instead of having it our way…
“God wants me to be happy,
He won’t mind..
Your choice Happy In Hell…
Dichotomy
Skittish Spirit – 2008
The Operation Manual of the Spirit
To open the door
Listen
Be silent
His message is subtle
And can be easily missed
Back ground noise of the world
Drowns our spirit out
And may just drown Him
Red Ribbon – April 2008
Red Ribbon
Around a heart of gold
Drum beats
Count the miles of life
Keeping thoughts in today
Living in Today
The Now
Assures Tomorrow
Penny thoughts
Many thoughts
Thoughts of resignation
Thoughts of prayer
It is a mystery
Where they come from
Will impact where ever they go
One toxic thought
Can wage a war
Shot like an arrow
Through the Heart of God
Love is found when
Thoughts of hate are retracted
Suppressed or
Bundled together
Kindling for a bonfire
Detaching
Releasing a duty from Spirit
Discharging-
I felt family today
Aunt Rose died-
She brought the fruit
Of her mother Amylia’s vine
Planted in a dusty Oklahoma Dairy Farm
Rose’s smile was
Amazing
Reflecting her compassionate spirit
All given
Mildness
Ever-smiling
Benevolence untapped
It was this yarn that knitted
Her clan together
In an organic tapestry
Perfected by Grace
The last thread was severed
At last-
Wealth was not her happiness
Or in her simple possessions
But in knowing she always did the ‘hard thing’
Difficult times
Integrity
Impeccable reason and will
Subconscious intellect
Held her conscious true
At her funeral I found five 4-leafed clovers
My “drought” was over
I had not found one for years
It is hard to spot them hidden
Sometime God just wants to make a statement
About one of his most beloved.-
My Aunt Rose
Beyond the Grounded – June 3 2008
The decent from the Air
God so near-
Up here
The heavens so delicate
Azure tones of
Lost in memories
Tattooed on the skin
Of my soul
Things lost
Changed or
Broken
But a morsel remains forever
Fix the broken
Make old the weary and worn out
Work-a-rounds for the lost
Our cries are muffled and faint
When the past becomes the present
God is only out of reach
When we do not seek him
He heals the broken
Sculpts the changes
Gold nuggets can always be found
In our grief and sadness
Choppy landing
Proceeds final destination
God is plain as air
Always there
Distant Thunder – June 3 2008
Distant thunder
Warning things to come
Ominous storms
Rain gives grace to the crops
Resurrection storms
Make way for new growth
All ways of watchfulness
Creation marches on
And on
Deserts
Waterfalls
Sunsets
Authored
Intellectual Property
All are God-Speak
Belongs to God
Driving Grievances Home – June 3 2008
When our faults and failings
Register
We have hit the proverbial nail on the head
Driving the spike deeper
Into the hands of Jesus
Does He ever get used to it?
Sins can be pardoned
But wasted opportunities are lost forever
The consequences remain
Often life altering…
Pocket stones not thrown
Cultivate elegant grace
Reap the respect, regard and decorum
My Spirit Lives – June 3 2008
My Spirit lives
To be born again
Beyond the impenetrable will
Where reason and the Spirit have jurisdiction
and rule
Separating Heaven from Hell
Longing to leave the Cave
of desire and self
Born of Ignorance
A detention center
Of pain and sadness
A chrysalis must form
before it can fly…
Creation evolves in stages
Each stage adds genius
Eventually we find God
Take Up Your Cross – April 16, 2008
We are commissioned
To go out into the world
Each day
We are loving Him
When insults and misunderstandings
Are ignored and
Roll off our backs
A hateful comment
Can be a “piece of candy”
To the soul inside
We are loving Him
By giving a gentle hand to guide
A smile
A kind word
Sparks a fire in the soul
Deceit and “What’s in it for me?”
Make a soul vulnerable
To spiritual virus that
Disable
Decay
Leave it helpless
To iron our distorted thoughts away
Judgment weakens and becomes bad-
Candy to the Soul – April 16, 2008
We are licensed
Sanctioned
To daily sample the sphere
The realm or of influence
To show what it means to love God
When prayer is everyday all day
In all things
When we rule pride, prejudice, envy and control
When we turn the other cheek
When insults, and misunderstandings
Roll off our backs
A hateful comment hurled
Un-recanted
Can become a piece of candy
To the Soul inside
By fielding it and turning it to refuse
Pulp fiction it always was
Deceit
Dishonesty
Denies and revenge
Taste so sweet
and becomes sweeter with practice
Rewards of the Fruit of the Holy Spirit
Profit the being
A smile
A kind word
A gentle hand to guide
Sparks a fire in
The Well Spring of Grace for the Soul
Remaking Myself – April 18 Friday
I keep trying to make myself
Into something that I’m not
Perhaps because I have never known
Who I am in the core of my being
My memory leaks
I can’t give perfectly
I can’t help perfectly
I’m tired of being tired
All I want to do is look inside
And see something there
I see an invisible God
At work in creation
Letting me do it my way
But my way only works
With abundant grace
Find your way to Him
And you will never want to be apart
Look to God for Strength – April 20, 2008
My mind has become a prison
For my soul
My life
Boundaries not open and free
Constricted
Trapped
FumblingIn the darkness
Feeling that I should be somewhere else
I see myself no more as me
Another someone mostly
Lost and alone
New Covenant – April 20, 2008
God has graced me with a soul
This soul and everything it accomplishes
Is done because of you graciousness
How foolishly I used these gifts
And thought they were mine
Now your gifts lie dormant
And I awaken to a new spring
New dawn
Rebirth
Unused Energy
A will to give back all gifts received
Discernment
Detachment
Courage
And Joy
Thought Catcher – April 20, 2008
I have a defective “pray-er”
I close my eyes to find God
I see Him there
He is majestic
Kind – all caring
Pleased to see me there
Then some unimportant rumination
Blocks my view
Displacing the wisdom
That I sought to find
Weeds are pulled-
Vines are pruned to be more fruitful
Vines not producing fruit are taken out
And burned
God’s fuel is the sap that nourishes
Fruit is pressed into wine
As the fruits- charity and kindness
Turn into love of neighbor
Toll Gate on Life Support
April 20, 2008
Toll Road Built on a Promise – 2008
A promise of what will be
The highway-
Easier and faster
It has a gate
Admit only ones
With ready money to pay the toll
Other roads are free
Freedom costs
But it leads to a fast track
To where you want to be
Rights must be loved and grown
Forever must wait
Holy Spirit – 2008
Desire wills love
Desire sparks action
Spirit of truth
Unconscious connection to God
Truth tracker
Brings to light pretense
Keeper of the real
Lies thought inconsequential
May be unseen
Imperceptible
But their consequences remain
Burdened with the matters
Of this earth
A Judgement call
Only tools at hand….
Free will
God’s Word
And the prophets
Understanding
Observation
Determine who returns to God
Or return to earth
My Soul is shrouded in suffering.
I am continually offering myself to God by an act of the will.
He is my power and my strength.
April 16, 2008
My Mind is Closing in on Me
The mental mesh is tattered and torn
That is why thoughts
Slip right through
Unable to remain
Will God still hear my prayers-
When my memory runs out?
Soul Smasher – April 16, 2008
The soul is mostly
A helpless being
At the mercy of our free will
Soul morphs daily
Environmental impact amends
Bends and Folds
Sends vibes
To use
To confuse
To stabilize
Barnacle report
Fleas in the rug
Things that set back
Slow down
Like plaque on teeth
From our daily bread
Soul will get rusty with sin
A consult with Jesus
Like a trip to the dentist
Teeth cleaning-
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My Story…
It all Started When the Orphan Train Came from New York ‘Foundling’ Home to Subiaco Abby – April 8, 1911~
One evening this summer –
Deep “in the throes” of my Burnout/Depression-
A blank Google page was open, so I typed ‘GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!!’ I hit the enter key and as soon as I did ~ THE PHONE RANG – It was a nun – working with Bridges (Ignatian Spiritual Exercises)!
I had attended an introductory session in the last year, but the timing was not right – It may have been “happenstance” that she followed up ‘at that moment’- but I am so grateful that she called!
Faith Bio of H.T. Wagner Hinkle for Bridges – 2006
Psalm 139 ~ Search me O God, and know my thoughts
Test me and know my anxious thoughts…
1947-1965—Spiritual base:
Fraternal parents (Hebrew & Basque DNA) were immigrants (brave pioneers!) from Slovenia at the turn-of-the-century.
They were ‘transplanted’ in Subiaco Arkansas, a German community established around a Benedictine Abby ~ (complete with chanting monks & Vespers)
My highly scheduled, Slovenian father (Grandson of Butler (CEO) for A Slovenian Nobleman) HAD to be ‘on time’ for Mass – His idea of “on time” was 45 minutes early.
That time filled with reflection and prayer!
I was held captive by the weekly Mass sounds of the Benedictine monks chanting – They were haunting to hear and even now – Hearing the Gregorian Chant – always brings me home to Subiaco…
My mother (Her mother ~ Hebrew from Ulster Ireland and her father ~ a Doctor of Metaphysics & Philosophy (French). Packed with this DNA ~ She arrived as an orphan on one of the Orphan Trains from New York on April 8, 1911. She was adopted by a large German Catholic family in Subiaco. She was devoted to Mary and the Sacred Heart & Consecrating her family in 1938
Which lead her to Henry’s Tavern and eventually to marry Henry Theodore Wagner in 1939 – They farmed a 7-acre sustainable farm, near the Subiaco Abby ~
In 1953 we moved to Little Rock.
They raised 4 children and we all desired and were determined to a ‘higher’ education – We all attended parochial schools through High School.
In grade school, I was always drawn to spirituality at age 8 – I had a “knowing” inside and assumed that I would likely become a nun someday.
I “broke rank” in private education and attended a state school for college. My father insisted that I become a nurse (pre-med was my major) – After 2 years, I chose to marry and we moved to Columbia Missouri for graduate school.
Then Moving to Westminster College, Fulton, MO (10 years) – I received my BS in Education and taught at St. Peter’s elementary school ~ So I could have the summers off with the children. Unfortunately, teaching was not ‘in my Nature’ and therefore not an enriching experience. I never really wanted to be a teacher – only teach, but did so to be with the children all year round ~
This is when I started to use and read the Good News Bible – Always retaining my interest in science, growing plants and cats!
Our children were born: 1969 and 1971…
In the mid 70’ we were invited by the Calloway Band to take on the local True Value Hardware and operated it to mid-’80s – Economic conditions turned down, Callaway Nuclear canceled the 2nd unit and a regional mall was built in Columbia only 25 miles away. These events. removed our business base for the Christmas and the Spring seasons.
With 2 children (about to start college) and $250K in debt – We closed the store and moved to St Louis –
Both of us – started over with 100% commission positions. Thinking back, It did not seem a loss – Nor did it make me anxious – Only quiet confidence. …
Trusting and ‘Trying to shine through our Sorrows and Rise to Love Him still’ –
Likely ‘encoded in my DNA’ as ‘those who went before me’ ~ Pioneers from Europe, starting over and surviving World Wars, Depression –
Using The Abby sounds to find their Center –
That is all I knew – Things seemed to fall in place.
Then, as before, I felt closely connected to God.
In ten years we had paid for 2 college educations, paid the debt on the store.
From 1987 to 2000 I was an ‘Information Systems’ Recruiter (Head Hunter)~
My recruiting business developed into a 2 million dollar business after 13 years with a team of 5 to 8 recruiters – When I left, they gave me a gold St. Joseph’s medal, knowing my devotion to him.
In 1995, we moved to Ladue and remodeled the large basement to an apartment and shop for my Father and Mother, relocating them from Little Rock – to live with us – This was one of the happiest times of my life – Camelot – Like Subiaco!
Knowing that they were safe and allowing us to care for them – My parent’s Rosary reverberated through the floor (as we watched TV above).
This is when I began to pray the rosary in my commute.
I asked my father, Henry, to make a finger rosary out of some of the wood from his shop – The Rosary saw us through life’s travails – always!
My father died in 1998 and our mother moved to Tulsa to live with my sister.
I was at the top 13-year of a High Functioning Project Manager of 5-8 recruiters, ‘comradery & synergy’! When the ‘KNOWING INSIDE’ signaled that it was time to make a change!
In 1999 – This is when I first started to look around and say “God, where are you??”
I was LED to move out of our home in Ladue & was recruited by STARTUP Company for as Director of The job was Director of Recruiting for a ‘From-Scratch Recruiting Department’ in a company that was developing an electronic platform for the mortgage industry ~ which had a “downturn” in 2003 ~
Still recruiting to build this software platform, but the Downturn only made things worse – Recruiters laid off, High Stress, but still determined to do the job!
The likely beginning of the ‘Perfect Storm’ ~
In 2000, I changed my diet from Total Cereal (1/2 dairy) to Protein Powder (Body-food only), Modern CAFO-GMO Yogurt, Milk and Fruit!
I soon began to experience ‘Cognitive Burnout’ It took me 17 years to figure the Brain – CAFO-GMO food connection!
Dodging Darts of Western Medicine and Fear Mongering
MANIC IS ALL BAD – Without taking into consideration 100 years of Amazing Pioneer DNA ~ Nor was the CAFO-GMO (missing ‘Plant Protein & Seafood Protein for the CNS & Prefrontal Cognitive Brain! CAFO-GMO Muscle meat was the ONLY PROTEIN and White Bread – Their Daily Bread! (Refined with ‘Disease-Causing Carbs) and only 2 grams of Plant protein!
But like ‘Chiron’. In Greek mythology, Chiron was wounded by Hercules. Though he was immortal, it is said that he invented medicine in order to heal himself. Chiron was also the teacher of the hero, Achilles, who was thought to have had some special medical knowledge-Sept. 16, 2002
In 2002, I read Psalms a lot, particularly in the middle of the night when I could not sleep…
My sister and her husband were struggling after our Mother died in 2001…
In April 2005, my husband’s team left ML to open office for a competitor,
** The next week his father suddenly died from an aneurysm …
** The next week my company sold & they wanted me to travel to Cleveland to spearhead hiring 300 people…
** The next week my daughter had a miscarriage…
** The next week my cousin’s house burned…
All of this was on top of me being totally ‘burned out’ ~ working 12 hour days for the previous year.
2005-2006 were particularly difficult years.
I finally retired – BURNED-OUT~ (Cognitive)
This began my Journey into DARKNESS-
and began my experience into THE ‘DARK-SIDE’ OF WESTERN MEDICINE (PHARMA)
combined with a stressful job (Cortisol)
and the REVENGES OF THE SAD (DEAD) AMERICAN DIET – CAFO PROCESSED GMO FOODS!
TOO MUCH (GMO fed) ANIMAL PROTEIN (MUSCLE MEAT), TOO LITTLE (Unaltered) PLANT PROTEIN – MIA! Not enough Seafood Protein!
DUE TO OVER-MILLING
OVER-HEATING (Pasteurization and Roasting of raw Nuts, seeds UNCLEAN-NOT SOAKED)
and GMO grains – (Magnifying the Glutens and Lectins) as well as the grain itself.
AND THE MOST DAMAGING…
POSSIBLE CONTRIVANCES OF THE ‘MEAT & DAIRY CARTEL’???
Western Medical ‘professionals’
Did NOT take INTO ACCOUNT-THE ‘GIFT’ OF MY INHERITED DNA! and MY CHOICE OF THE SAD (CAFO) AMERICAN DIET…
THE PERFECT STORM TO CAUSE ‘COGNITIVE BURNOUT!’
I spent many hours reading scriptures, particularly the Prophets.
Also, participated in 2 year-long Bible studies of Genesis and Romans, Revelations …
After 17 years, Slow recover my spirit and my cognitive skills.
Now years of Research of the Dangers of Industrial Farm Methods, Starting a business to help create awareness of GMO, Over-Milling grains, Heat-Altering & EXCESS of them all…
Through these years I would characterize my spiritual journey as by-the-book Catholic.
To this day, I cannot remember missing Sunday Mass ever; prayers before meals and maybe a few brief night prayers.
I now go to confession more often (FREE THERAPY!)
I often longed to find a spiritual community that my family experienced at Holy Souls. We came close at St. Peter’s, in Fulton, but can’t seem to find in St. Louis.
I pray the Rosary and The Divine Chaplet daily and I have read Henri Nowen, Tom Merton, St Theresa of Avila.
The Fatima Garden at the Carmelite Monastery & At Mother of Good Council Nursing Home are my Joy and my responsibility to Plant, weed & water…
I still feel like I am chasing after God.
After LOOSING 2 very close SINGLE (FROM DIVORCE) NEPHEWS – (to taking their own lives)
RELYING ON TAINTED INDUSTRIAL MEAT and ‘MOLD-LIKE’ MODERN DAIRY…
My cognitive mind was slowly burned out
With NO NEW SUPPLIES OF PLANT PROTEIN and FISH TO MAINTAIN and RESTORE IT.
HE (some say God) fed the ‘multitudes ‘ with Barley Loaves & Fishes ~ (Not Altered CAFO-GMO) – Just natural Ancient grains (plant protein) and Seafood (both oil & protein)
Why I do this – The story of Billy…
The End to Senseless Loss of Lives – END to GMO & SAVE US ALL and Donuts & Return to Sanity!… THE WALL TO BE TAKEN DOWN-GMO
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/end-senseless-loss-lives-gmo-dee-hinkle/
“Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are”…
Anthelme Brillat-Savarin wrote, in Physiologie du Gout, ou Meditations de Gastronomie Transcendante, 1826: “Dis-moi ce que tu manges, je te dirai ce que tu es.”
Confession-
Dee Hinkle Aug 18, 7:58 AM hippocampus…Jacob wrestled with A Man until dawn (of civilization ) & would not let him go until the Man gave him his blessing (father of the chosen race).. He was given the blessing but his hip was thrown out of socket. Hippocampus is the structure in the midbrain that is very essential to taking implicit thoughts and storing them in the explicit memory (autobiographical ) in the right hemisphere of the brain.
Dee Hinkle Today, 10:51 AM
Dee Hinkle Today, 10:52 AM (does not participate in the child rearing)
Dee Hinkle Today, 11:35 AM research shows That the Baby Einstein concept is failure..like speaking a foreign language
All the while displaces any meaningful attachment behavior
Dee Hinkle Today, 11:51 AM Stage 3 – 6 years to 12 years
Plato’s analogy of “the Cave”
Concrete Operations (6/7 to 11/12)-PreAdolescent mentality- Immature thinking that is to be corrected to enable “Theory of Mind” (compassion for other) mentality to emerge…
As opposed to Pre-operational (adolescent) children, children in the concrete operations stage are able to take another’s point of view and take into account more than one perspective simultaneously. They can also represent transformations as well as static situations. Although they can understand concrete problems, As opposed to Pre-operational (pre-adolescence) children, children in the concrete operations stage are able to take another’s point of view and take into account more than one perspective simultaneously. They can also represent transformations as well as static situations. Although they can understand concrete problems,Piaget would argue that they cannot yet perform on abstract problems, and that they do not consider all of the logically possible outcomes.
Dee Hinkle Jul 5, 8:43 PM The text of St. Matthew 5 runs as follows:
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Verse 3)
Blessed are the meek: for they shall possess the land. (Verse 4)
Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted. (Verse 5)
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill. (Verse 6)
Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. (Verse 7)
Blessed are the clean of heart: for they shall see God. (Verse 8)
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. (Verse 9)
Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Verse 10)
End to Homelessness 