Pros-e-Try in Motion 2008 and 2012 Inspirational Verse – HT Wagner-

About the Author

Inspirational Verse in the free-form style of Emily Dickinson

HT Wagner – is a Freelance writer of WordPress in St Louis, Missouri 
She has had a successful career in Project Manager with over 25 years’ experience in research, development and team building, with a strong background in both technical and financial services industry recruiting. She has also built her own successful recruiting company.

She retired and suffered a series of devastating family tragedies that led to a period of deep depression and devastation. Expressing herself in poetry has helped her to rebuild a normal life.

Dee’s ‘turn on’s- are the ocean, swing dancing and comedy.
Her ‘turn-off’s’ are negative people who judge and people who hate.
 She and husband of 53 years now live in St Louis close to her family.
You can email her at
( – under construction)

Inspirational Verse in the free form style of Emily Dickinson


My Posts

End to Homelessness

(My story)

Dee  Wagner~Hinkle

HT Wagner@ Twitter
314-283-8786  (text) (web site)
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Inspirational Verse in the free form style of Emily Dickinson

Prayer Book of Poems & Other Notions: Verses To Hold In Your Heart

by HT Wagner and Vince Ciarpella | Jul 28, 2021


Living in God’s Space: Inspirational Verses

by Ms HT Wagner and Vince Ciarpella | Jun 11, 20


As the Fog Lifts in the Garden : Verses to Know that You are not Alone

by HT Wagner and Vince Ciapella | Oct 11, 2021

Kindle Edition  

For the Love of Emily and Me – : A Study of the Inspirational Verse

by HT Wagner and Vince Ciapella | Feb 2, 2022

Price and other details may vary based on product size and color.


The Second Coming-Italian Renaissance-Food & Drink -: Non-GMO, Over-Milled or Heat-Altered-Not Modern Factory (Processed Whole & Unaltered)

by HT Wagner and Vince Ciapella | Feb 5, 2022

Kindle Edition


Opeand Curious – Sunday, September 30, 2012


I do not want to be outside your Gaze

Like a sheep 

The pasture ‘over there’ looks better

Then I realize it is not Your pasture

It is riddled with land mines

And unfriendly folk

Wasted time is on my own

Your time is perfect


And always one thought away

You made me perfect

And each moment I stray

Is lost 

I become uglier

And silent

To You and myself

A tasty Twinkie

A Big Mac

Feeds the low default brain 

And the tongue

That’s all

Focusing on self-only

Going through the dogma rituals

Starves my celestial roommate

Who needs only fresh air…

Mayan Calendar Ends – Saturday, September 29, 2012

He told us that it would end-

Another notch carved in the Tree of Life

We are almost home

It has be a long a crooked journey 

Time falls like rain drops and snow flakes

Sometimes buckets-

Confusion and chaos reign mostly

Faith comes in handy at those times


He took time to make time

And started with a bang-

A Big Bang!

Then He had to figure out the wet from the dry

The low from the high…

He took the shard and scraps from the exploding star

With finesse and a flair-

Aimed His gaze

Like a billiards cue

In just a minute the planets were orbiting His Son.

Sent them into orbit around his little finger and thumb

Hydrogen, Helium….one by  one.

Caught carbon’s eye

The Sea came to be

Primoral soup percolating and incubate the life of tomorrow

Pool fish schooling

Intrigued and curious the frog grew legs

And landed on land

With a plop…

And the rest was history..

The makings of mankind

All- in-One God….

the Architect. 

The Chemist, – 2022

and a Project Manager.

Momentous .. 

In my head-

Existential Kierkegaard 


Free Will


Hay wired to arrest the urges



Once vital but now



Will Power Friday, September 28, 2012

Spirit assisted

Unavailable to all but man

Reasoning power

Will power

Hidden force

Only discovered by living. (S Kierkegaard)

By doing the hard thing…

Moving matter in motion

 By an impelling force 

The right hand of God

Freedom from matter

Freedom from form

Becomes  the Spirit’s journey


Life’s work and purpose

Boredom is the root of all evil. (S Kierkegaard)

No power to will


Unchanged state

Constant stasis 


The force of good 

Canceled by the force of evil

Stopping all physical and chemical process

Forever halting and denying the existence of God

Choosing to remain inert

A mass of matter

A mire of earthy mud

Clay foundation

To be borrowed  by the gods.

Providence breaks

Life force defines

The human condition

Leaves – Friday, September 28, 2012

Leaves leave us grateful

They leave us in wonder

The glowing green unblemished leaves of spring

Out matched by the venerable timeworn leaves of fall

The photo factory for sin-the-system

Picture this-

The leaf cells march 2×2

Plan in mind to mark their mark

Claim their place 

In the scheme of all things green

They leaf

and leaf

and eventually become a tree

A tree with solar panels 

To catch the rays of the Son

The grace in the form of the Holy Spirit progeny 

The pro-generator of all creation.

The windmill that makes the energy

That moves information through the mind

That permeates and pervades the being

Being of God

Being of man



Energy and information flow (Dr Dan Siegel)

Data of the divine

Honing and refining sires awe

Fineness becomes

 Highest quality –

Meditation – Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Why travel to the ends of the earth

When you own a Taj Mahal?

An internal cavern

Of wondrous gems and gold

Why trade a fleeting delight?

A groundless delight?

A meaningless moment?

Supplanting a permanent marker

In the changelessness of the wilderness  of time…

Why imprison your immutable,

Perpetually abiding roommate

To a long night

Of arid thirsty frost

With a Litany of a void-

TV delights the ephemeral part of us

While shackling the soul…

Who invented His carriage

His marriage

And will not be denied

Why listen to the pandemonium of the world

The Din

Dead air

That cogs the Soul’s service…

Of Feathering a nest

To burrow a hideaway 



Not bound by time..


Unfasten and fashion 

A home for Satan- 

Pseudonym for all that is not the Maker-


Disassemble all that is nonspiritual

Feelings, perceptions

Terrestrial, sensual

and mundane

Consciousness that matters not…

Provisions only to  comfort and sustain

The beast 

Man sans God-

First Installment – Wednesday­­­, September 26, 2012

Origin and root

Foundational footing 

For dispatch

Of energy and information flow

Bedrock of thought

Primitive, crude and simple

Rocky road 

Laid down for Dialogue


Awaiting the next stage

Wiring for the Holy Spirit

Dispatch the Spirit.

As the Falcon Flies – Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Searching for prey


Something is missing

A piece that brings peace

Drive to create

and be created

Drive to fulfill 

Earth’s destiny with the sky and sea

Wrought from a void

A common destiny we all share

We all bare

The burden of co-existence



A foundling home

For orphans and beagles

For rough hewn beast to the dainty gnat

All pioneers 

Each day on awakening

The smell of creation cooking



Succinctly syncopated cacophony  

Without which

Confusion reigns

and creation becomes mud from which it was wrought…

Given – Sunday, September 23, 2012

Gift is in the Eye of the beholder…

All have been given an eternity of goodness, wisdom, knowledge..

Dutifully organized each volume of the windfall

In the canyons, caverns and caves the mind

Intending to be summoned back as life relents 


Clearing, making space

To unbutton the facade 

The pretense of living a life of the Spirit

A life in the world

Worshiping idols

Meaningful to the moment

that houses the grotto of the eternal internet-

Thin – Sunday, September 9, 2012

The atmosphere is thin

Looking for substance to grasp



Urgency screams

and delivers none

Edgy watchfulness



Wanting to find a citizen 

To accompany into the haze of tomorrow

Character for what lies ahead

Ready to stop

Get off the treadmill

And just be-

Searching –  Sunday, September 9, 2012

Searching the way 

Out of an Impetuous storm

Only to find another storm

When will it all end

Or is the reality?

Soul storm

Kernel of being

Stronghold of sanity


Altruistic love 


Foreign to the senses

Here comes thunder

Lightening has already struck..

Ego snorts a prideful, pitiful snot

To keep the soul suppressed


His mortal enemy

Mindsight from Ego-ground

Is through a peephole

Only slit in the creation cloth

He believes that if he perceives it,

Tis the truth…

The “hole” truth

and nothing but the small mind truth…

God will figure it out later…

He miffs.

a petty quarrel

Blindness is cured by seeing God

in the living…

Dissolving perception.



Perception is dangerous-


Has ramifications, mostly dysfunction….

Heaven is here and now

Not out there somewhere 

Heaven in  the correct function of the temple

That He has been building for the last 4 billion years

It is is our hearts and minds

New and everlasting since the event of the Holy Spirit

Heralded by the crucifixion

We are saved…from dysfunctional thinking, 

Dysfunctional relationships and dysfunctional society-

Only My Soul  – Sunday, September 9, 2012

Only my soul knows me

My inner thoughts

My inner moods

My ways 

Some…. that should be “the highway”

My soul is always welcome

Except when Ego is there

Along with His minions of idols

and idol worshipers

Who bring havoc and distress

and darkness to the soul

Who has work to do

Building a nest in heaven

From the perch in the Cerebrum


To be exact

The new and everlasting covenant will be realized

On schedule

The Mayan calendar did not lie

When one circuit of creation ends

Another will begin..

The earth is not longer flat

The industrial farmer have completed their role

To make the Jews, Gentiles, Christians and all

Fat, diseased and speechless-

Allowing the Muslims to catch up

Without alcohol,

Without industrial farmed animal protein

and with praying five times a day!

Western Medicine 

Ignores Hippocrates

“Let food be thy medicine”

and treat only the symptoms

With pills that fix the disorder

But have a blind eye to the abundance of healing components of the whole-

Taken away by industrial farming practices and techniques

That are meant to build and repair…

Western Religion

Dogma at its apogee

Strangleholds the Soul

With ritual and meaningless ceremony…

Only ones left praying are the Muslims…5 times a day.

911 signaled the end of the 6 the stage of creation

Mayan calendar ended-

And so hopefully shall end the reign of the post-Nazi Nazi’s.

Awareness – Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Perception that lies to us

Intentional or unintentional

Enmity is

State of mind

Created when the ancient world

Was replaced by the Breath of the Spirit

When an new layer of awareness and knowledge 

Came to be

Mortal perception

Folded into the Truth of the Spirit

Jesus cured the bling, deaf and dumb

“Stiff neck”

Yesterday’s news

“Clan” became “Other”

No longer a threat to existence

But the ticket to Salvation

What once was the Cadillac of creation

Became the model-T

What was the T-bone steak of life,

Became the whole grain staff of life

The winds of grace prospered those

Those that “got it”

Embracing others accumulated favor


and Peace

The haughty and proud

Who embraced only themselves

and their clan


Disgrace and disfunction

No “Other”

No Grace

Beatles “Nowhere Men”- they become

Sitting in a n  owhere Land

Making all his nowhere plans for no body

Doesn’t have a point of view

Know not where he’s going to..

He’s as blind as he can be

Just sees what he wants to see

Nowhere man can you see me at all?

The world is at you command, please listen-

Hating is the ways a means to maintain self-esteem.

Hating feels so good-

Blind to see from the “low” brain perch

That feels good down there

It takes a lot of energy to hold on to hatred and other grudges

When all that time and energy could 

All the while

Be spent build the new neural tissue 

A saving account in the “high brain” graces

Have to choose

Have to pause at the Narrow Gate

Stop the hate and let the hopeful thoughts pass through…

Hoarding is a way to hold on to material grace

But no one told them that it is a mirage,

An Illusion

Only props to shore-up an effigy-

Being Hated – Wednesday, September 5, 2012

It is-

Now I See

Connecting points from the past-

the cabin so perfectly designed for someone on a “God Mission”

Outfitted to the “nine’s”

11 miles from town, in the woods

Missing nothing

Laid out to accommodate and reward

Lives live totally inside the Heart of God

Suffering, integrity to unwavering belief

In doing the right thing-

Especially when it was also the “hard thing”

Now I know that is must give back 

The cabin he prepared for me

Probably my last week end forever

Abe, Loretta and Billy were my charges

Neglected and ignored

Grace went to others

Who saw more clearly 

The ramifications of love

and the wanton sadness of a missed opportunity…

The wounds and scars

And empty robin’s nest that I look at each day from my kitchen window….

Billy is not with me, as You intended him to be

I had the tools to heal and the connections to find work

What was lacking was the mind of a saint

Courage to take a leap of faith

and know we would land on our feet.

Eternal Father – Wednesday, September 5, 2012

I feel like I am in a state of suspension..

It is over

I am in mourning

Where will I go?

What will I be?

Around and around I go.

The atmosphere is thin

Laden with lead..

I will go where You go

I will follow as long as I can see You…

Feel You

Know You are near.

Only me can make you abandon me

Only me can choose to stray…

You are present and accounted for

I am but a waffling, wayward hungry soul..

On training wheels at best.

Where will the grace come from?

Will I recognize it when it comes?

How will I be able to see God in all I meet?


I am frozen, fearful…

Desiring desire

Hoping for happiness,

Knowing it depends on living in truth.-

Wayfarers – Monday, August 20, 2012

Suspended in mid-sentence

Suspended in life..

Eternity may just be beginning

The chemistry of creation

Measures each step

By the weight of it passion

The intention to survive

Thrive and love

Survival depends on many things

The first being the plan

The Godgerm

Nature created fish with gills

Snakes with venom

Cats with claws…

and Man with a Soul

Each an individual blueprint

With specs to follow

Building materials are plentiful


Matching what is needed to what fits

Is the Key-

Only certain substrates unlock specified proteins

Their in lies “the bite”

What tastes good, but does not fit

Remains useful for the mouth only

What tasted good, but does not fit

Must be disposed of

The blood is very efficient at removing unneeded substrates

Quick solution is space in the brain for dairy or in the joints

Heart for animal protein and fat, 

Infants, we are

Still too young to understand

That taste is mostly unreliable and inefficient-

I am Alone – Sunday, August 19, 2012

One mind

One soul

One God alone




Feeling for feelings

I am alone

Beyond repair-

Beyond care


and sure

Sure that only the truth

Will save us

Save us from ourselves 

and our primitive mentality

Of Me

Me only

No interest in other

No interest in becoming “We”

God is in “We”

Others are too

But those who hate

Can never be “we”

Nor can those who lie, cheat and steal

Letting feeling get hurt –

All turn grace into violence-

Presuming, being angered and prejudice only cause blockage in “WE”

To be “WE”

Being intentional is required-

Intention is the chariot of the Holy Spirit

Who drives a mean stake

Into the false heart of Ego…

Intention is faith and trust 

All balled up into one

One God alone

With me inside

Inside his wounds

Inside his Sacred Heart

Knowing that someday the Temple

Of the new and everlasting covenant 

The tripartite brain

Father, Son and Holy Spirit 

Will be complete

Only when we can recognize  and accept other as “WE”

Ready in the Wings – Sunday, August 19, 2012

Looking for wholeness

Wholeness amounts to striking out the ways of the word

Positive and negative

Negative first

Hone in on the fun – but empty activities of life

Make room for exploring and getting to know the hidden spirit

The perfect One

Who need nothing but to have a clear path to the Almighty

A way home

In prisoned  in the envelope of Ego

Mostly mud and clay

Selfishly guarded to protect his unimportance 

His desire to control

and eliminate “others”

The souls ticket to freedom

While slimy creatures lurk in the clan of Ego.

Out dated and unreliable

But they like it that way.

Their days are numbered

Their mission is to protect the soul

and diminish – so the soul can become

Become a star that will always shine

The will is on Ego’s side

Intention born of Faith is the fast track out of the Ego cave

The will enjoys pleasure

Intention is God’s will

And the battle ensues..-

Meditation – Sunday, August 19, 2012


Rambling, digressive


Breaks into 


General loving knowledge 

Loving and peaceful awareness

God’s grace is received passively

Like sun rays

“Son” bathing

Empty thought ways

With Eyes wide open-

Gratitude Journaling – The Neuroscience of…   Sunday, August 19, 2012

Intention drives the flow of the energy of the mind

The Holy Spirit guides our intention

The Holy Spirit – the energy flow in our mind

Unless Ego is in charge

The it all goes “down stream”

To his lair

The lair that God created as a vehicle of the Soul

God’s not there 

In Spirit, anyway

But gratitude for the ways and means

Will only bring more neural firing

To build and strengthen the lair of the Soul

In the Insula – structure of the midbrain

He is all present in all matter,

But His spirit is moving away…

Away from the Ego mindset

That is selfish and proud

Hoards things

Hates others

Bully – he is, 

Instills fear in the hearts of all that judge him…

Coaxes his clan to do so too

By over-generalized “put down”s

Revenge-get even mentality

Shunning all who are not like him

Coveting what never be his

Shooting “from the hip”[1] 

(Hippocampus-Jacob wrestled with A Man until dawn (of civilization) and would not let him go until the Man gave him his blessing (father of the chosen race)..  He was given the blessing but his hip was thrown out of socket.  Hippocampus is the structure in the midbrain that is very essential to taking implicit thoughts and storing them in the explicit memory (autobiographical ) in the right hemisphere of the brain)

Impulsively acts 

On the first urge

Perception is truth

As inaccurate and unreliable

Perfect tool for preserving his image

And tearing others down.

The truth is that Ego was born blind

He was doing the best he could 

With the thinking equipment that God gave him..

He was living in the basement of a cathedral

While the temple above was under construction..

It was nice enough

A little dark

Monks were chanting hope

But the Holy Spirit has not yet arrived…

The prophet years may have been the beta test for the new Cathedral/Temple

The old Temple destroyed

The Crucifixion was the bookmark for the official initialization 

and Grand Opening on the new Temple

The New and Everlasting Covenant..

We have the tools to be nice to others…

Clan no more under this covenant…

The blind, deaf and dumb no long have any excuse to remain in the lair.-

There Is Nothing – Friday, August 17, 2012  

Where there is nothing

God is found in His purest 

Clearest perception

He can be seen,  tasted and heard

 without distraction

Only getting there is the rub…

With the world always creeping in

Encroaching on God’s territory

It is work to clear the path to meditation

Impossible without His grace

and desire to persist

To call out 

To leave the comfort

Of the known

Fear of being left behind

Repels followers on-

Empty – Sunday, August 12, 2012  

God is

He is the Space between all matter

He is all existence

All earthly creation-

Plus the matter in between

He is the energy that makes thoughts flow

He cradles and guides each neuron 

To where we want them to go

He is chaos that disrupts the pandemonium of life

He is the upheaval that renders Ego helpless

He is found in every heart and mind

He is why we are

We are why He is

He is the chemistry of compassion-

God created God

and remembers all

He is found in small minds

and in large boxes

But most of all he likes cats!!

Cats eat the rats

That eat the whole grain

That we need to make neural fiber 

To make smart and sacred thoughts

Grain should not be few to cows

Grass should

Meat should not be fed to smart minds

But dumb ones who want to stay that way

Thinking the binary way

Not on all cylinders

But only the ones that make them feel good…

Live for pleasure only 

Grain fed cows

Monster Martha’s

Horny males

and brain a dumping ground for 

Keys that open no doors

Fall on the neural paths

To trip up thoughts and

Make the highways 

Thought paths littered with debris

Of the greedy

The ignorant

and all those who care not…

Only the Low brain can sin

Their sin is only ignorance

Their fear holds them back from what might have been

Mired in dysfunction

Like a pig in mud-

It Only Serves Me – Saturday, August 11, 2012

I would like to spend my days 

Reading and analyzing scripture

I would like to cloister myself

In a quiet spot and just be with You

I would like to hold Your word in my heart

While the candle burns for the world around

I would like to hold You

And You alone

Leaving all behind

Leaving all to their circumstances

But I cannot be that selfish

What you have given me

I – not mine to keep 

But to share and bring others home.

My cross is leaving You hanging

Without me 

Always by Your sacred side

You are there, now, then and ever shall be

It is I who must withdraw

And spread you Greatness

and not withhold

The pain is great

Too great

But it is my mission

My charge

To share with creating

All you give

You have to keep showing up!

I Found God – Saturday, August 11, 2012

When I was not looking

Always busy looking away

Looking around 

Upside down-

I thought He was just up there some where

The I realized 

That he was

But more


He created of himself

For Himself

All by Himself


He could …

He ordered order

But Chaos needed  a job

So He formed Chaos to muck it up

So He could create more

To test the minds and hearts of created man

More Alchemy

More chemistry,

To make things grow, build simpatico

Simpatico that that results from graceful thinking,

That makes for graceful living

Harmony within the Heart of God

Integrity of parts of God

That fit together to make matter

Parts of a part only make matter worse

So where is God?

He is the matter that He created

But his is also invisible, infinite spaces in-between.-

Off to Wisconsin – Saturday, August 11, 2012

Retreat from the heat of the “Son”

Desolate, dry seasons 

Make it possible for the harvest to blossom

Necessary to weed out the weak…

The strong 

Strengthened  by grace stored in the heart and mind

Desolation a time to reap

A time to store

A time to see God through clearer prisms

Undistorted by all things not

All things nothing

All things banal and unforgiving

How do I meet You? 

In the 3 chimney stacks of the power plant

Looming Large



and Holy Spirit

Bring power Grace to the houses

At the end of the power lines

Grace to bring life

To sustain life

You are the mind and heart of the angry and confused

The lost and alone

Leaving for us to find the hurt

Soothe the damage

And bandage stop the bleeding

and give You a chance to heal

We are the doctor’s assistant

Not the healer

That is why you are here…

Within each and every one, in all  living things as well

Inertia  is not really inert

But the the balls that are juggled to create and for the rest of creation

Since the Big Bang

You have been the Space in between

Suspending creation and make it holy

Directing the flow


Guiding the way

You are Ever present

Along the way as we labor and work

To build the Temple to house 

The Triune God

 The midbrain, prefrontal and cerebrum 

Nicely perched at top the basement structure 

Of the primal brain…. 

3 to 4 billion years in the making-

Fear of God -Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I fear loss of you connection..

I fear that I am not good enough and underserving of you presence…

I feel lost and alone


Because I know there is nothing in the world

That can satisfy this desire that you have created 

In my space in the cosmos.

It is mine, 

All mine to maintain, 

Keep clean

Draw others into…

I do that, for the most part, 

Not well at times…

Something is missing…

Like IVery roaming the house 
Looking for Gunter-

Who died yesterday…

He is not there and will never comeback..

A hole in Ivery’s heart

A bonded mate

Sharing the same space for a time…

The Next Nazis – Industrial Farm Machine – Tuesday, July 31, 2012




Extra pleasure-

Displaces so many things named God

Choosing taste-only, TV,-only,  games-only, 

Physical relationships-only 

Only criteria:  “it feels good”

Starvation of the Spirit

Extreme hunger for goodness and grace

Famine for the bones…

 “enriched” 60% less for the bones


Death from lack of undisputed soul love

Harmless sex-

Makes a potential Soulmate scatter

Recede from view


Choose truth from the “get-go”

Love-at-first sight is speaks to the heat

But it must go both ways or it is a lie.

Keep looking 

Time is of the essence

Essence of love is truth.

Nutritious food should tastes good

Not just a concentrated sweetness

By lack of whole food

With essential nutrients industrialize farmed or GMO…genetically modified out

Amino acids are not the same

Modify a protein by change one or two amino acids

and the “key” will no longer fit the “lock”.

So….Industrial Farm Engineers has not strategic plan

For the undigested, miss and mal-formed proteins disposal

Misfits navigate to the brain (memory problems), heart (attack and stoke), immune system (allergies, cancer, joint dysfunction),   

That mentality is that of ignorance…Before Eve…ignorance…

She desired knowledge so much

That she was willing to bite the apple…

God allowed because she shepherded in the next leap in creation..

The midbrain, prefrontal and cerebrum actualization…

Preparing the brain for the initialization of it by the Holy Spirit

The crucifixion being the Bookmark of the event…

The prophet years being the beta test of the structures in the midbrain and frontal, particularly the Insula….

The temple for empathetic thought….

The culmination and the reason for creation…

So if someone really wants to kiss you,

And it would feel so good..

What is the decision…Do it…

No harm in a little kiss

Or If I use this time (another idol to worship)

Displacing time that should be spent 

In the arms of my soulmate…

Hard to do when in the arms of a person

That you know you do not have feelings.

Sip of coke…nothing in it that causes cancer…

Just another betrayal of the immune system-

Who desperately needs tea, coffee, 100% fruit juice..

The list goes on…

But the process should be changed to always pause and reflect 

And only and always follow the path out of ignorance


Eve knew that the path to good was truth

and the path to evil was to remain in primal thinking..

Ignorance and presumption-

In a world where Carpenters get resurrected — 

Anything can happen-

Help Me Find the Word– Tuesday, July 24, 2012

They are out there 


Waiting to be thought

And born into our world

Nature needs nurture

Nature perceives

Low “default” Brain prospective

Where chaos reigns…



Nurture is the environment

After the thought is free willed through the “Narrow Gate”

Dividing line between the Low brain and High Brain 

The kingdom of the Holy Spirit-

She Felt Hated – Sunday, July 15, 2012


Swirling around in space

In a space created by me

Not what I thought it would be

Learned from my Mother how to be…

A servant, she was

And proudly so

Mother-less at four years

She found herself

Alone and frightened

Like Moses, she was imprisoned in a new life

A life of coldness, harshness and fear

The farm chores became the caregiver template

Feelings so primal and tender feelings 

Remained uncorrected 


Using her primal filters-

Unreliable and inefficient 

Facing adulthood with a deficit 

To connect with societal ease..

Her brilliance soaked in fear

and fueled by whole grains and produce from the sustainable farm

On the seven acre sustainable farm 

She slaved to clean, cook, launder, plant, grow, harvest and preserve

Her four small needy children needed  and loved her

Much like love a beloved servant

The Garden of Eden

The Abby with the Gregorian Chanting monks

Came to an end after WWII 1953

She lost her Camelot-

Her little ones were growing away

Her duties to them would forever change…

Indoor plumbing, grocery store convenience…

She lost raw dairy, grass-fed chicken and pig

Lost the manure fertilized vegetable garden…

Out side of Eden was a living hell…

The processed dairy became a mangled protein to clog in the brain

Developing dementia

Enriched flour stripped of the germ and bran

Starved the brain function-she became obese

Trying to please her maturing children

Baked the processed refined bread that nourished not the body 

and in the end, no the even the soul…

Her only solace was the daily Mass

A mile walk-

“Days of our Lives” streaming 

and to fill the gap-

Phone time with her friends-

The Glancing Point[2]  Secure – Sunday, July 15, 2012

Next Gen

My beginnings – Born July 29, 1947

Feast day of St Martha

(God’s sense of humor)-

A weekly maternal gestation-

The chanting monks of Subiaco Abby-

Six years of Camelot 

Sustainable Farm in Subiaco

Mass at the  Abby with the Gregorian Chant

The chorus of Benedictines

Ceremonious and solemn-

When as a new born I cried-my brother 

became the caregiver and attachment was secured…

My lot – to help with the garden, feeding and canning chores 

and care for the cats-

Discipline was light to no discipline-

Three brothers, a sister and playmate to be-

Schooling – 1953-65 and marriage 1667 to a tournament male[3] 

Children – 1969 baby girl, 1971, baby boy…

Instead of a sustainable farm to manage and run

What would “Martha” do?

Do all tasks, perfectly-

Never sit down like “Mary” and enjoy the show”

Mary would prioritize, children first

And let the rest fall in place…

The Martha Mom in me took charge and did it all-

A legacy of toil, industry and purposeful resolution

Tasks must be done….(even if Jesus is in the next room)

The children were entertained with a quilt on the floor or Baby Einstein.

No caregiver – insecure attachment formed

We are hardwired  to recognize  our caregiver by electronic wiring in the form of speaking and hearing….”take turns” communication.

Without “take-turns” communication, the Martha Mom caregiver becomes seen as an outsider who is suspicious and should be approached with caution or anxious ness, fearfulness or hate. 

Future Generations:

Martha Moms may attempt to correct the basic emotions[5]  of their children so that they will develop to mature behavior. Age 6 to 12  is the incubator  for the germs of compassionate thinking.  

Pre-adolescent mentality – Presumption is often their truth

Overcoming the thought that “If I think a though it must be true,” starts to awaken in the pre-adolescent mind. The mind is now beginning to take another’s point of view in to account.  In a secure attachment, calling to consciousness their self-orientated and egocentric view

Basic filters of extra tender feelings remain in pre-adolescent state, judging others and using a negative spin on gossip, greed, envy, anger.

Enmity for “others” is still hardwired and unless it is corrected compassion and empathy will never develop to refine adult behavior.

Insecure attachment corrections are a difficult obstacles to overcome for a Martha Mom. 

 If not accustomed to “take-turns” communication between mother and child, any suggestions from MM will often be received with suspicion and refutal-

Insecurely attached children see the Martha Mom as an outsider and will resist correction…Tender feelings will hurt, the advise will not be trusted-

A week in Iraq Friday, July 6, 2012

This week has been like a tour in Iraq.  

I hope it is over.

Sometimes days are dry

So dry 


As is the temperature outside

People are still bogged in the heart of the evil One-

Their mortal bodies still using their default brain

Like continuing to use a generator after the storm has passed

And the electricity has been restored…

Satisfied and content in their dysfunctionality

Happy trapped int their fly trap

At least the refrigerator is on..

Blind to  a better way

Contently with impaired by ignorance

Dysfunctional and in a faithless mentality 

Certain that their way is the true way

It is what it is and shall remain

In a Fixed Action pattern

Closed to curiosity and possibility..

Taste is the driver for gluttony

If it tastes good, eat it

The ignorance keeps them in their cave

Competent in their in incompetence

Voracity in their underdeveloped consciousness

Throwing darts into the shadows of the night

Knowing that sooner or later at target will be hit

Target shooting works in a world with whole wholesome food

Not so much, with altered, refined food, once whole

Now trapped, happy, TV, movies, novels that “fill” God’s time

Idols – they are, 

Displacing what matters with what matters not

 Putting God “on hold”



We are always looking…

But do ever really see?

Kick the can down the road…

The meditational work to be done

Compassion cannot be manufactured in the “default” brain.. 

Only by shutting it down can the meditating “monk” neurons mine the Insula 

and build the muscle of Empathy-

Operating in the default brain is easier

and more pleasurable to the five senses.

The unseen, unfelt work of meditation and prayer…

Neural currency  or grace is only won by shutting down the default brain

We must love one another 

Or die  

It is easier not to do “the hard thing”

“The hard thing is required for the quality of existing now and in the after life..

“Other” ruffles me-

We are hardwired to be suspicious of “other”.

“Others” take away time from “self”-

Takes away from time fillers like TV movies and all the sensory vacuum.

“I love everyone-

Unless they are not like me”

Harmless  chatter about the to my clan

Is not gossip!

“look after my own”

‘It feel good to get angry”…

Why pause and reflect and miss the opportunity to feel…

For a feel satisfaction of “getting even”

And prayer?

That is for dummies

Where do they go?

They are not felt…

They are not seen?

Sometimes He cannot hear us in since He mostly resides in His God-in-a-box

He does not seem to  hear them in there-

Where Have You Been? – Thursday, July 5, 2012

I have been looking for you 

For all time…

and now You are nowhere to be found.

You are gone…

Or is it me who has left you??

Your dwelling place




All of the above

Outside “being” is the world

and Your Holy Spirit won’t be found there..

The world was created to shelter the Spirit

Sanctuary for it 

Not to institutionalize It.

Spirit “work”

Welding new neural pathways

Enlarging “God-ness” from within

Displacing the world

Spark by spark

One neuron at at time…

It is impossible to serve two masters-

Building Empathy – Thursday, July 5, 2012


Destroys the enemy of Creation

The Ego 

Spirit-less matter

Abated  by the Spirit 


The meek

Poor in Spirit

Inherit the Kingdom

The proud

Inherit the earth 

And all of the earthly burdens

and stockpiles of insignificance 

Temporal and Fleeting

Leaving the Spirit within-

Gaunt and forever deficient


Out of empathy flows mercy and justice

Peacemakers know truth-

They are the next-door neighbor to empathy

The next generation 

The rights of passage 

From the low (default) brain dysfunction

To High Brain Heaven. – God’s Kingdom on earth-

The Next Nazis

Industrial Farm Machine – Thursday, July 5, 2012

Concentrate pleasure

At the expense of God’s plan.

Choose taste, TV,  games, relationships 

Based on “it feels good”

Displace what God wants you to do now-

Choose truth

If decision is clouded by ignorance

Truth does not have a chance-

Food that tastes good

Often is concentrated sweetness

With essential nutrients industrialize farmed or GMO…

Genetically Modified out-

That mentality is that of ignorance…

Before Eve…ignorance..

She desired knowledge so much

That she was willing to bite the apple…

God allowed because she shepherd in the next leap in creation…

The Midbrain, prefrontal and cerebrum actualization..

Preparing the brain for the initialization of it by the Holy Spirit

The crucifixion being the Bookmark of the event.

The prophet years being the beta test of the structures in the midbrain znd frontal, particularly the Insula….

The temple for empathetic thought….

The summit and the reason for creation…

So if someone really wants to kiss you,

And it would feel so good..

What is the decision…Do it…

No harm in a little kiss

Or If I use this time (another idol to worship)

I am displacing time that should be spent 

In the arms of my soulmate…

Hard to do when in the arms of a person

That you know you do not feel fondness-.

Sip of coke…nothing in it that causes cancer..

Just another betrayal of the immune system 

Who desperately needs tea, coffee, 100% fruit juice…

The list goes on..

But the process should be changed to always pause and reflect 

And only and always follow the path out of ignorance


Eve knew that the path to good was truth

and the path to evil was to remain fastened in the past..

Ignorance and presumption-

Waiting – Monday, July 2, 2012

Not knowing


Wandering unabated 



Knowing the alternative is completely quiet

and probably tongue-tied



All that remains is an empty void


Craving connection with Him

Hoping He sees my heart

Hoping He hears my prayers

Sabor a Me

Savor me

Remove all senses not of Light

Feel the brightness 

The Glow of Being

Without the intrusion of the world

All that is not God

All that distracts

and draws us outside his circle of grace

Circle of Love

So sweet

So fatherly

Without apprehension or suspense

Or expectations

With Joy unabated-

8:00  Mass – March 29, 2008

Without worry

Without distraction

I heard Your Voice today

You spoke lowly but clearly-

I knew You were there

The bread was broken and

Placed  in my hand

My spirit received You with rejoicing 

Your brokenness healed my brokenness 

From within-

The Artist  – March 29, 2008

He is all things 

In Him all things are held together

Can a painting see and see the Artist?

The mind of Christ, 

The image of God

Came in human form

To bookmark an unseen event

The initialization of the mid brain

The Limbic system

Unlocking footpath for thoughts to escape 

Leaving the agony of the Primal Cave behind….

The dysfunction that has kept man bound in chains

To wade in the mud of earthly worry and anxiety….

Functioning with unreliable, out dated software 

With presumption and best guess 

Criteria for selecting the Leader…

The Truth of the Time

Modus operandi…. later identified 

As the seven deadly sins.-

Ascending beyond the primal brain was the mid-brain and cerebrum

The cathedral of the Kingdom was being built.-

Through the prophet years…

Finally open for business…

Owner’s manual built on the old Testament

The triune Mind of Christ

Snake like stem of the reptiles and old Testament rules…

Mid brain designed to streamline empathy 

and decommission the basal brain thought..

To the cerebral memory…

To  the Kingdom of Heaven-

I Am – March 29, 2008

I am be

I can be

For the joy I have 

I will be

For the time

Be cool

For the time 

Be a fool

But above all things

Just BE. .-

Treasure – 2008

Treasure hidden within

A shroud of Mist

A shroud unknowing 

Reserves concealed within the cavernous subconscious mind.

Consigned with  deliberation…

To be uncovered at a predestined time and place

To be sought…

A hunt…

Like of an Easter egg … 

Anticipation of an episode-

Fashioned with a grand crescendo 

At the dawn of our soul…

From the foundation of time…

The creation schema was laid down…

The genome packed with rations and necessities

To finish mission assigned….

In the Template for Soul’s life labors…

Shards of celestial fire 

Begins at ground zero….The Genome

Gene on a mission-

The first stitch to be knit in the breath of life…

Fully developed become the

Fruits of the Holy Spirit


Those who worship other gods..


Egocentric persona

Distraction destroys “Soul work”…

To mine the genome.

Waste restricts and blocks

Slows down

Or snuffs out the celestial spark….

Flames die out to  cinder…

The Soul wildfire demands spiritedness…

Zeal and the passion of prayer 

Prayers unsaid form a black hole

Of  embers undiscovered 



The refusal to “do the hard thing”

Become cowardice and steal all the good that might have been..

Genome is a well-ordered whole

Treasure Island inside

Solemn and thoughtful pirates required…

Fear is a Thief that steals all the good…

 that might have been….William Shakespeare-

Genome – 2008

God creates creation by dwelling in it

Morphing It

Being It

Temporal home formed from



and Rock

Appointed by the thought of God

The Spirit of all things not physical,

Belongs to God

Before the indwelling of the Spirit

 Man was an Earthen Vessel only….

The Heart of being

The egoless Spirit 

The Spirit 

The Chosen DNA became “set aside”

And became the instrument 

The Means 

To transport the Arch of the Covenant

The Holy Grail

The  righteous essence of God 

Married to mankind-

The Greatest Thing – 2008

The greatest thing

Has no arm or legs

No wheels or wings

Was born out of nothingness

Moves mountains-

Shifts sand

Makes erasers out of storms

Roams the universe

Is the Universe

But makes our hearts His home-

Who am I? – April 16, 2008

I keep trying to make myself

Into something that I’m not

Maybe because I have never

Known who I was supposed to be

I can’t give perfectly

I can’t help perfectly

My memory leaks

My thoughts think 

Slowly like molasses

People bore me

Animals scare me

I am tired of being tired

All I want to do is look inside 

And see something there

I see an invisible God

At work melding Creation

Letting me do it my way-

My way has only ever worked

With abundant grace

God is holistic holy love

Complete and unadulterated

He is the space between the molecules

Find your way next to Him

And you will never want to be apart

Afterlife – 2008

Man alone comprehends not 

The afterlife

Man without cognizance of the Spirit 

Knows only clay and dirt

And is content 

and unaware

The Soul is its ticket

We compete to survive

At least,  the fittest do

We eat

We sleep


After thought….

Genesis – 2008


The soul’s dawn

The rib of Adam’s genome first

Then Eve softened the cosmic blow..

A Sacred variegation of the clay

Shaped by free will 

The Covenant amorphous



Faith required to read it

 The God-Mind in mankind-

Saint on Training Wheels – 2008

I look to You for strength    

My mind had made me a prisoner in my body

Boundaries once open and free

Now Narrow…

Feeling that I should be somewhere else

Trapped and hesitating in the darkness 

I ruminate

I recoil

I see myself no more as me

But as a saint-on-training – wheels

Better than Western Medicine alternative  

More drugs..

Plea (Suscipe St Ignatius) – 2008

You have graced me with a soul

This soul and everything it needs

To accomplished Your will 

Ir is Yours…From the start 

I return it to You..

How foolishly I used these gifts 

Thought they were mine

Now Your gifts lie dormant

If I survive this winter of mine

My hope for spring is 

That You will keep giving your Holy love

Use Your gifts with wisdom and courage

And renew our Covenant

Once again-

Where God Lives – 2008

God just didn’t fashion mankind

Out of nothing 

To do nothing

Our purpose does not include 

Spending time worshiping other idols…

Or spending all of our time is thinking “low road” thoughts..

The vineyard without a keeper

Becomes just a plot of overgrown weeds

Vines not producing fruit 

Are pruned 

Collected and destroyed

It is real

Empathy  and kindness become fruit

When “It’s all about me” 

Not enough grace is obtained to purchase

Real estate on the “high road”

One becomes barren

and Lonely


Pointless and futile

Covenant is all about Other

No excuse since the Mid brain has been initialized

and open for business..

A harvest of grown by compassion  yields more fruit

God’s Grace is the sap 

That courses through our sacred vines

Reaching out to all those who love Him

And obey His commandments

God is for real-

Desires – April 9, 2008



What should have been

But never was

Going back steals time from tomorrow

It is within me to long for and

Settle In the Heart of God …for all eternity

I fear my decisions

 Bad judgment

Tether me to the earth

Wrongs must be righted

Rights must be loved and grown

Forever must wait-

My Head is Heavy – April 9, 2008

My head is heavy

With the lack of my mind

My heart has holes 

That let the love out

I can see with my eyes 

But only darkness

My ears scream for silence

And my mouth obliges

When the fog lifts 

And it always does

And the Delusions surface

Real or imagined?


Unclear – Holy Spirit – 2008

Spirit of Truth

Spirit of Being

Yolks us to God

Exists outside of deceit

Deceit becomes a blister on the soul

A violation 

Displacing the love that could have been….



Or consequences  remain.

Desire wills love

and love wills desire..

Desire evokes action

Action is the engine of creation

We were created to return to God

Held back by matter

Of this earth

By involving free will—

Making it a sentry

Our choices determine

Whether we return to God or dust


Who’s self-control 

Along with the rest of the clan 

Stay behind…

On the Low Road…

 Finding truth is random…

And rare…

CYA default…

The truth is best known by God

Pride and prejudice

The proud

Oh-so-very-Tender feelings

Disallowing true communication with others

Fearing retribution–for fear of perceived insult

Presumption rampant

Holds only a thin slice of God’s truth

Control…reading God’s mind…


Envy…Coveting and more

Choices made  are in a vacuum of presumption…

Not in trust and faith

Choices made with reason..

God’s eye view

Consequences tend to be

Hassle free

Seamlessly and stressless?

Let it be-

Silence Wakes My Soul – April 9, 2008

Silence awakes my Spirit

Longing to speak with me

Longing to be with me

Noise of the world

Creeps in and confines


Muffles the essence…

Blurred intuition…


Where to cast the net?

Without the world at hand and accessible….

Daily conclaves

To discuss the 

“The state of Being”

Burden, crosses, victories all..

The weight of the world


Grace has run dry

Conversations seem out-of-true…

The judges are out and about



To trip you up

The energy once piloted… 

Has been pirated by 

A burglar barnacle attached to  the Soul’s core … 

Stealing  energy-

Soul – Lost and Alone April 9, 2008

The soul is mostly

A helpless force

Ego …… Mostly oblivious to the spirit within

At the mercy  

Of our free will

Soul needs to recoil..

Away from the fray, the pack-

The Pity Party has Begun – April 9, 2008

When the world intrudes

and closes in on the space inside

The Spirit Soul weeps

Dies a little..

Sloughs off…


It Purges all not sacred…

Mindfully cleanses and purifies…

All worldliness that is not Soul…

Like grapes in a wine press


Not heard but felt…

Life, as we knew it. grinds to a halt..

Creation slows to a crawl…

From the soul’s prison

Surge the tears

Soak the ground 

Beneath  Ego’s feet




“It is all about me-go”-

At the Precipice – 2008

At the precipice

Rock-face cliff

A road blindly leading

To tomorrow

The storms

The blistering heat

The wrong turns

Set backs

Strength drained

Allowing for

Suffering and hardship

Gives rise to truth realized…

Accelerates about prayer

Brings forth…

Stamina and strength

A powerfully built soul can carry the weight of any Cross


Energy maker for the soul

Generates grace…

The  fuel for Creation…

The knit-miester for our being-

Eye into the Core – 2008

Peeking inside

The soul holds court

Things seem conflicted

Suffering…Makes extra space for God within

Silence is an amusement park ride

While Ego steers clear and shuns….

Dishonesty and lies take up space reserved  of God

Do not belong…incompatible

Like dirt on a rug

Needs to be shake often

Left undisturbed

Slows God down….

Thorns must be removed for healing to begin…

Or get to be wounds that never heal.

Things that can’t be taken away –

Time, words, or opportunity-

Womb – April 9, 2008

The fertile womb…

“The first shall be last and the last shall be first”

God prospered the Chosen race….

Abraham and Sarah’s progeny 

While Abraham and Hagar’s progeny Ishmael waited to be last

Both to conquer the Americas, 

The baton was passed to the 15th century Catholics

Assisted by  WW II birth control, industrial farming…

 Abraham and Hagar beget Ishmael 

The Last 

The baton was clearly passed to Hagar’s children

The Muslims..They are keeping the New and Everlasting Covenant..

The cradle of civilization

At last, the Muslims hold the fertility card

The Winning ticket

The fertile womb holds the 

Promise of hope in the 

Sage syncopation of the Covenant…

Forms the right to be

Matchless wonder-

Nothingness – April 9, 2008

Nothingness comes in many forms

Love of what can never be….

Hatred exacted on another soul….

Building a mansion with many empty rooms….

Hearing only the voice of Self…

Eyes that look the other way…

Hearts that beat only one beat…

Oneness is born of truth


The Tapestry of Life – 2012

Jewish Legend

Early in the life of our universe, the universe exploded into countless pieces of light and they lodged as sparks in every piece of creation.  Each one has exactly what is needed to repair the world that we can see and touch.  

The tapestry of life 

Woven by the Hand of God

We are the threads

Each thought, word-



Whether be 

Sin or success-

Forever remains

Cannot be taken back

A shard of creation 


We are

With all that is needed to repair the world 

We see and touch

It takes faith to realize this-

Faith – 2008-


Abraham knew God so intimately-

That he was willing to sacrifice his son.

A ram caught in the thicket 

Was reward for his faith

Knowing that God always has a purpose


The bleeding edge of creation



Many spirits are extinguished

Because we fear to take up a cross

Fear the difficulty

Fear the cost

A cross is a lottery ticket to grace 

Grace puts us back 

In the Garden

Three Things You Cannot Take Back – 2008




Lost in time

We have the free will

To choose a cross

Or take the easy road

The road of a coward

Creates inertia

Of Spirit and 

The death to the Soul

Faith Awakens-2012

Faith awakens Grace

A seed 

Deeply planted

Expectedly emerges

Only to be freely lavished 

By the generous rays of the sun

Like the seed

Faith germinated

And virtue and confidence 

Takes on a life of its own

Kindness, compassion

Crosses to carry

Grace to win

Love Who You Are – 2008

We cannot be another animal,


Or fig

Souls won’t fit

Spirit burdened with 

The temporal load of Ego….

A mind of its own….

Fear and hopelessness


Impede the growth 

Carefully measured at conception

Loaded and ready to fire

With hope and faith

Taking God by the hand

A discerning mind

Sees life from above

Higher Thoughts

Fruits of the Holy Spirit

Not from The Cave

Of the lower ANS brain…

That mostly thinks with out reason

Justice or altruism

Ego cannot see God

Only Ego self

The Poor in spirit

The Humble

Are Rich in God’s eyes

The core of creation 

Lies the Heart of Jesus and the Mind of God

The Imperishable Germ

Tuesday, March 13, 2012 stopping point

Abused but not dead

Swaddled the grace–

The gentle rays of love

Desire awakens the core

A prefect celestial blueprint 

Opens to a world of possibilities

And consequences

The rain of desire beckons it to grow

But do not awaken it, until it beckons you   (Song of Songs)

Imperishable becomes perishable 

The law of the universe, love

Determines the range of life

The habitat of the soul 

Belongs to tomorrow

Belly Ring – 2008

The big 

Boasting Belly

Landfill for waste-


Guilty Pleasure

The unnecessary morsels that

We should have denied ourselves

Or offered up

Like the computer

Unneeded documents

“file save as” – Hogs space

Denying ourselves

Leaves more space 

For our partner Spirit

To do for others

And share in creation

Instead of having it our way…

“God wants me to be happy,

He won’t mind..

Your choice Happy In Hell…


Skittish Spirit – 2008

The Operation Manual of the Spirit

To open the door


Be silent

His message is subtle

And can be easily missed

Back ground noise of the world

Drowns our spirit out

And may just drown Him

Red Ribbon – April 2008

Red Ribbon 

Around a heart of gold

Drum beats

Count the miles of life

Keeping thoughts in today

Living in Today

The Now

Assures Tomorrow

Penny Thoughts – 2008

Penny thoughts

Many thoughts

Thoughts of resignation

Thoughts of prayer

It is a mystery 

Where they come from

Will impact where ever they go

One toxic thought 

Can wage a war

Shot like an arrow 

Through the Heart of God

Love is found when 

Thoughts of hate are retracted

Suppressed or

Bundled together 

Kindling for a bonfire


Releasing a  duty from Spirit 


Family – June 3 2008

I felt family today

Aunt Rose died-

She brought the fruit

Of her mother Amylia’s vine 

Planted in a dusty Oklahoma Dairy Farm

Rose’s smile was


Reflecting her compassionate spirit

All given



Benevolence untapped

It was this yarn that knitted 

Her clan together 

In an organic tapestry

Perfected by Grace

The last thread was severed

At last-

Wealth was not her happiness

Or in her simple possessions

But in knowing she always did the ‘hard thing’

Difficult times


Impeccable reason and will

Subconscious intellect

Held her conscious true

At her funeral I found five 4-leafed clovers

My  “drought” was over

I had not found one for years

It is hard to spot them hidden 

Sometime God just wants to make a statement

About one of his most beloved.-

My Aunt Rose

Beyond the Grounded – June 3 2008

The decent from the Air

God so near-

Up here

The heavens so delicate

Azure tones of 

Lost in memories

Tattooed on the skin

Of my soul

Things lost

Changed or


But a morsel  remains forever

Fix the broken

Make old the weary and worn out

Work-a-rounds for the lost

Our cries are muffled and faint

When the past becomes the present

God is only out of reach 

When we do not seek him

He heals the broken

Sculpts the changes

Gold nuggets can always be found

In our grief and sadness

Choppy landing 

Proceeds final destination

God is plain as air

Always there

Distant Thunder – June 3 2008

Distant thunder

Warning things to come

Ominous storms

Rain gives grace to the crops

Resurrection storms

Make way for new growth

All ways of watchfulness

Creation marches on

And on





Intellectual Property 

All are God-Speak

Belongs to God

Driving Grievances Home – June 3 2008

When our faults and failings


We have hit the proverbial nail on the head

Driving the spike deeper

Into the hands of Jesus

Does He ever get used to it?

Sins can be pardoned

But wasted opportunities are lost forever

The consequences remain

Often life altering… 

Pocket stones not thrown

Cultivate elegant grace

Reap the respect, regard and decorum

My Spirit Lives – June 3 2008

My Spirit lives

To be born again

Beyond the impenetrable will

Where reason and the Spirit have jurisdiction 

and rule

Separating Heaven from Hell

Longing to leave the Cave 

of desire and self

Born  of Ignorance

A detention center 

Of pain and sadness

A chrysalis must form

before it can fly…

Creation evolves in  stages

Each stage adds genius

Eventually we find God

Take Up Your Cross – April 16, 2008

We are commissioned

To go out into the world

Each day

We are loving Him

When insults and misunderstandings

Are ignored and 

Roll off our backs

A hateful comment

Can be a “piece of candy”

To the soul inside 

We are loving Him

By giving a gentle hand to guide

A smile

A kind word

Sparks a fire in the soul

Deceit and “What’s in it for me?”

Make a soul vulnerable

To spiritual virus that



Leave it helpless 

To iron our distorted thoughts away

Judgment weakens and becomes bad-      

Candy to the Soul – April 16, 2008

We are licensed


To daily sample the sphere

The realm or of influence

To show what it means to love God

When prayer is everyday all day

In all things

When we rule pride, prejudice, envy and control

When we turn the other cheek

When insults, and misunderstandings 

Roll off our backs

A hateful comment hurled


Can become a piece of candy

To the Soul inside

By fielding it and turning it to refuse

Pulp fiction it always was



Denies and revenge

Taste so sweet

and becomes sweeter with practice

Rewards of the Fruit of the Holy Spirit

Profit the being

A smile

A kind word

A gentle hand to guide

Sparks a fire in 

The Well Spring of Grace for the Soul

Remaking Myself – April 18 Friday

I keep trying to make myself

Into something that I’m not

Perhaps because I have never known

Who I am in the core of my being

My memory leaks

I can’t give perfectly

I can’t help perfectly

I’m tired of being tired

All I want to do is look inside

And see something there

I see an invisible God

At work in creation

Letting me do it my way

But my way only works 

With abundant grace

Find your way to Him

And you will never want to be apart

Look to God for Strength – April 20, 2008

My mind has become a prison

For my soul

My life

Boundaries not open and free



FumblingIn the darkness

Feeling that I should be somewhere else

I see myself no more as me

Another someone mostly 

Lost and alone

New Covenant – April 20, 2008 

God has graced me with a soul

This soul and everything it accomplishes

Is done because of you graciousness

How foolishly I used these gifts

And thought they were mine

Now your gifts lie dormant

And I awaken to a new spring

New dawn


Unused Energy 

A will to give back all gifts received




And Joy

Thought Catcher – April 20, 2008

I have a defective “pray-er”

I close my eyes to find God 

I see Him there

He is majestic

Kind – all caring

Pleased to see me there

Then some unimportant rumination

Blocks my view

Displacing the wisdom 

That I sought to find

Weeds are pulled-

Vines are pruned to be more fruitful

Vines not producing fruit are taken out

And burned

God’s fuel is the sap that nourishes 

Fruit is pressed into wine

As the fruits- charity and kindness 

Turn into love of neighbor

 Toll Gate on Life Support

April 20, 2008

Toll Road Built on a Promise – 2008

A promise of what will be

The highway-

Easier and faster

It has a gate

Admit only ones 

With ready money to pay the toll

Other roads are free

Freedom costs

But it leads to a fast track

To where you want to be

Rights must be loved and grown

Forever must wait

Holy Spirit – 2008

Desire wills love

Desire sparks action

Spirit of truth

Unconscious connection to God

Truth tracker

Brings to light pretense 

Keeper of the real

Lies thought inconsequential 

May be unseen


But their consequences remain

Burdened with the matters

Of this earth

A Judgement call

Only tools at hand….

Free will 

God’s Word

And the prophets



Determine who returns to God

Or return to earth

My Soul is shrouded in suffering. 

I am continually offering myself to God by an act of the will.  

He is my power and my strength. 

Will God Still Hear Me?   

April 16, 2008

My Mind is Closing in on Me

The mental mesh is tattered and torn

That is why thoughts

Slip right through

Unable to remain

Will God still hear my prayers-

When my memory runs out?

Soul Smasher – April 16, 2008

The soul is mostly

A helpless being

At the mercy of our free will

Soul morphs daily

Environmental impact amends

Bends and Folds

Sends vibes

To use 

To confuse

To stabilize

Barnacle report

Fleas in the rug

Things that set back

Slow down

Like plaque on teeth

From our daily bread

Soul will get rusty with sin

A consult with Jesus 

Like a trip to the dentist

Teeth cleaning-

Read More

My Posts

My Story…

It all Started When the Orphan Train Came from New York ‘Foundling’ Home to Subiaco Abby – April 8, 1911~

One evening this summer –

Deep “in the throes” of my Burnout/Depression-

A blank Google page was open, so I typed ‘GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!!’ I hit the enter key and as soon as I did ~ THE PHONE RANG – It was a nun – working with Bridges (Ignatian Spiritual Exercises)!

I had attended an introductory session in the last year, but the timing was not right – It may have been “happenstance” that she followed up ‘at that moment’- but I am so grateful that she called!

Faith Bio of H.T. Wagner Hinkle for Bridges – 2006

Psalm 139 ~ Search me O God, and know my thoughts

Test me and know my anxious thoughts…

1947-1965—Spiritual base:

Fraternal parents (Hebrew & Basque DNA) were immigrants (brave pioneers!) from Slovenia at the turn-of-the-century.

They were ‘transplanted’ in Subiaco Arkansas, a German community established around a Benedictine Abby ~ (complete with chanting monks & Vespers)

My highly scheduled, Slovenian father (Grandson of Butler (CEO) for A Slovenian Nobleman) HAD to be ‘on time’ for Mass – His idea of “on time” was 45 minutes early.

That time filled with reflection and prayer!

I was held captive by the weekly Mass sounds of the Benedictine monks chanting – They were haunting to hear and even now – Hearing the Gregorian Chant – always brings me home to Subiaco…

My mother (Her mother ~ Hebrew from Ulster Ireland and her father ~ a Doctor of Metaphysics & Philosophy (French). Packed with this DNA ~ She arrived as an orphan on one of the Orphan Trains from New York on April 8, 1911. She was adopted by a large German Catholic family in Subiaco. She was devoted to Mary and the Sacred Heart & Consecrating her family in 1938

Which lead her to Henry’s Tavern and eventually to marry Henry Theodore Wagner in 1939 – They farmed a 7-acre sustainable farm, near the Subiaco Abby ~

In 1953 we moved to Little Rock.

They raised 4 children and we all desired and were determined to a ‘higher’ education – We all attended parochial schools through High School.

In grade school, I was always drawn to spirituality at age 8 – I had a “knowing” inside and assumed that I would likely become a nun someday.

I “broke rank” in private education and attended a state school for college. My father insisted that I become a nurse (pre-med was my major) – After 2 years, I chose to marry and we moved to Columbia Missouri for graduate school.

Then Moving to Westminster College, Fulton, MO (10 years) – I received my BS in Education and taught at St. Peter’s elementary school ~ So I could have the summers off with the children. Unfortunately, teaching was not ‘in my Nature’ and therefore not an enriching experience. I never really wanted to be a teacher – only teach, but did so to be with the children all year round ~

This is when I started to use and read the Good News Bible – Always retaining my interest in science, growing plants and cats!

Our children were born: 1969 and 1971…

In the mid 70’ we were invited by the Calloway Band to take on the local True Value Hardware and operated it to mid-’80s – Economic conditions turned down, Callaway Nuclear canceled the 2nd unit and a regional mall was built in Columbia only 25 miles away. These events. removed our business base for the Christmas and the Spring seasons.

With 2 children (about to start college) and $250K in debt – We closed the store and moved to St Louis –

Both of us – started over with 100% commission positions. Thinking back, It did not seem a loss – Nor did it make me anxious – Only quiet confidence. …

Trusting and ‘Trying to shine through our Sorrows and Rise to Love Him still’ –

Likely ‘encoded in my DNA’ as ‘those who went before me’ ~ Pioneers from Europe, starting over and surviving World Wars, Depression –

Using The Abby sounds to find their Center –

That is all I knew – Things seemed to fall in place.

Then, as before, I felt closely connected to God.

In ten years we had paid for 2 college educations, paid the debt on the store.

From 1987 to 2000 I was an ‘Information Systems’ Recruiter (Head Hunter)~

My recruiting business developed into a 2 million dollar business after 13 years with a team of 5 to 8 recruiters – When I left, they gave me a gold St. Joseph’s medal, knowing my devotion to him.

In 1995, we moved to Ladue and remodeled the large basement to an apartment and shop for my Father and Mother, relocating them from Little Rock – to live with us – This was one of the happiest times of my life – Camelot – Like Subiaco!

Knowing that they were safe and allowing us to care for them – My parent’s Rosary reverberated through the floor (as we watched TV above).

This is when I began to pray the rosary in my commute.

I asked my father, Henry, to make a finger rosary out of some of the wood from his shop – The Rosary saw us through life’s travails – always!

My father died in 1998 and our mother moved to Tulsa to live with my sister.

I was at the top 13-year of a High Functioning Project Manager of 5-8 recruiters, ‘comradery & synergy’! When the ‘KNOWING INSIDE’ signaled that it was time to make a change!

In 1999 – This is when I first started to look around and say “God, where are you??”

I was LED to move out of our home in Ladue & was recruited by STARTUP Company for as Director of The job was Director of Recruiting for a ‘From-Scratch Recruiting Department’ in a company that was developing an electronic platform for the mortgage industry ~ which had a “downturn” in 2003 ~

Still recruiting to build this software platform, but the Downturn only made things worse – Recruiters laid off, High Stress, but still determined to do the job!

The likely beginning of the ‘Perfect Storm’ ~

In 2000, I changed my diet from Total Cereal (1/2 dairy) to Protein Powder (Body-food only), Modern CAFO-GMO Yogurt, Milk and Fruit!

I soon began to experience ‘Cognitive Burnout’ It took me 17 years to figure the Brain – CAFO-GMO food connection!

Dodging Darts of Western Medicine and Fear Mongering 

MANIC IS ALL BAD – Without taking into consideration 100 years of Amazing Pioneer DNA ~ Nor was the CAFO-GMO (missing ‘Plant Protein & Seafood Protein for the CNS & Prefrontal Cognitive Brain! CAFO-GMO Muscle meat was the ONLY PROTEIN and White Bread – Their Daily Bread! (Refined with ‘Disease-Causing Carbs) and only 2 grams of Plant protein!

But like ‘Chiron’. In Greek mythology, Chiron was wounded by Hercules. Though he was immortal, it is said that he invented medicine in order to heal himself. Chiron was also the teacher of the hero, Achilles, who was thought to have had some special medical knowledge-Sept. 16, 2002

In 2002, I read Psalms a lot, particularly in the middle of the night when I could not sleep…

My sister and her husband were struggling after our Mother died in 2001…

In April 2005, my husband’s team left ML to open office for a competitor,

** The next week his father suddenly died from an aneurysm …

** The next week my company sold & they wanted me to travel to Cleveland to spearhead hiring 300 people…

** The next week my daughter had a miscarriage…

** The next week my cousin’s house burned…

All of this was on top of me being totally ‘burned out’ ~ working 12 hour days for the previous year.

2005-2006 were particularly difficult years.

I finally retired – BURNED-OUT~ (Cognitive)

This began my Journey into DARKNESS-

and began my experience into THE ‘DARK-SIDE’ OF WESTERN MEDICINE (PHARMA)

combined with a stressful job (Cortisol)




OVER-HEATING (Pasteurization and Roasting of raw Nuts, seeds UNCLEAN-NOT SOAKED)

and GMO grains – (Magnifying the Glutens and Lectins) as well as the grain itself.



Western Medical ‘professionals’



I spent many hours reading scriptures, particularly the Prophets.

Also, participated in 2 year-long Bible studies of Genesis and Romans, Revelations …

After 17 years, Slow recover my spirit and  my cognitive skills.

Now years of Research of the Dangers of Industrial Farm Methods, Starting a business to help create awareness of GMO, Over-Milling grains, Heat-Altering & EXCESS of them all…

Through these years I would characterize my spiritual journey as by-the-book Catholic.

To this day, I cannot remember missing Sunday Mass ever; prayers before meals and maybe a few brief night prayers.

I now go to confession more often (FREE THERAPY!)

I often longed to find a spiritual community that my family experienced at Holy Souls. We came close at St. Peter’s, in Fulton, but can’t seem to find in St. Louis.

I pray the Rosary and The Divine Chaplet daily and I have read Henri Nowen, Tom Merton, St Theresa of Avila.

The Fatima Garden at the Carmelite Monastery & At Mother of Good Council Nursing Home are my Joy and my responsibility to Plant, weed & water…

I still feel like I am chasing after God.

After LOOSING 2 very close SINGLE (FROM DIVORCE) NEPHEWS – (to taking their own lives)


My cognitive mind was slowly burned out


HE (some say God) fed the ‘multitudes ‘ with Barley Loaves & Fishes ~ (Not Altered CAFO-GMO) – Just natural Ancient grains (plant protein) and Seafood (both oil & protein)

Why I do this – The story of Billy…

The End to Senseless Loss of Lives – END to GMO & SAVE US ALL and Donuts & Return to Sanity!…        THE WALL TO BE TAKEN DOWN-GMO

“Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are”…

Anthelme Brillat-Savarin wrote, in Physiologie du Gout, ou Meditations de Gastronomie Transcendante, 1826: “Dis-moi ce que tu manges, je te dirai ce que tu es.”


Dee Hinkle Aug 18, 7:58 AM hippocampus…Jacob wrestled with A Man until dawn (of civilization ) & would not let him go until the Man gave him his blessing (father of the chosen race)..  He was given the blessing but his hip was thrown out of socket.  Hippocampus is the structure in the midbrain that is very essential to taking implicit thoughts and storing them in the explicit memory (autobiographical ) in the right hemisphere of the brain.

Dee Hinkle Today, 10:51 AM

Dee Hinkle Today, 10:52 AM  (does not participate in the child rearing)

Dee Hinkle Today, 11:35 AM  research shows That the Baby Einstein concept is speaking a foreign language 

  All the while displaces any meaningful  attachment behavior

Dee Hinkle Today, 11:51 AM  Stage 3  –  6 years to 12 years

Plato’s analogy of “the Cave”

Concrete Operations (6/7 to 11/12)-PreAdolescent mentality- Immature thinking that is to be corrected to enable “Theory of Mind” (compassion for other) mentality to emerge…

As opposed to Pre-operational (adolescent) children, children in the concrete operations stage are able to take another’s point of view and take into account more than one perspective simultaneously. They can also represent transformations as well as static situations. Although they can understand concrete problems, As opposed to Pre-operational (pre-adolescence) children, children in the concrete operations stage are able to take another’s point of view and take into account more than one perspective simultaneously. They can also represent transformations as well as static situations. Although they can understand concrete problems,Piaget would argue that they cannot yet perform on abstract problems, and that they do not consider all of the logically possible outcomes.

Dee Hinkle Jul 5, 8:43 PM  The text of St. Matthew 5 runs as follows:

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Verse 3)

Blessed are the meek: for they shall possess the land. (Verse 4)

Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted. (Verse 5)

Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill. (Verse 6)

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. (Verse 7)

Blessed are the clean of heart: for they shall see God. (Verse 8)

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. (Verse 9)

Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Verse 10)

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