The Power of Attachment from Birth to 3 years-
Awareness and Forgiveness for a Lifetime-
Attachment and Enmity-From the Bible-
Genesis -Chapter 3-
14 – So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this- “Cursed are you above all livestock
and all wild animals!
You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust
all the days of your life.
15 And I will put enmity
between you and the woman,and between your offspring[a] and hers;he will crush[b] your head, and you will strike his heel.”
16 And he said to the woman, I will increase your trouble in pregnancy and your pain in giving birth. In spite of this, you will still have desire for your husband, yet you will be subject to him.
When an infant is ‘inconsistently responded to’ – its internal systems signal a need for food or comfort are betrayed, then the Caregiver is viewed as an untrusted stranger. The become Hardwired to be wary of strangers. Until this mentality is secured by “take-turns” communication between infant & caregiver, the “enemy on board” the only behavior known & will be fixed – until, not unlike PTSD, Must be ‘called to consciousness’ to resolved or corrected.
This may may be a life-time condition of distorted, preadolescent thinking if not recognized & corrected.
These insecurely attached individuals become and must be ‘brought to ‘Consciousness’
Bringing ‘intrinsic blocked’ obstructed thoughts – to consciousness
& for final resolution and storage in the Autobiographical memory-
This is correction (or Forgiveness) – The process of ‘calling to consciousness’ must happen in order for the memories to be ‘knit’ and Stored in the Autobiographical Memory – or the child faces a life time of dysfunctional thinking & relationship problems.
Mary Main UC Berkley-Best predictor is not what they happened in the parents childhood, but ‘how we make sense of it’ and turn to your memories from past adaptation.
Parenting does effect the way we tune in to the internal world of children & actually shapes the mind and the brain with empowers them to balance emotions and connect with other people in an open and receptive way for all of their lifetime…
Not unlike PTSD-(Better Family, Better Spouses Dr Siegel & Dr Goldman)
When parents leave a secure home and are far away from our family support. (or in a single parent – with out partner support) – secure attachment may falter-
These critical initial “attachment cues” begin to occur immediately after birth and last three years. Frustrated, with a child – impossible to comfort, Only to be able to watch –
A helpless parent – standing by crib, watching the infant cry itself to sleep explained-
Other factors-extraneous chemicals harming the child-
that may be a cause of insecure attachment – the reaction to the ‘saddle block’ chemicals administrated during the labor process-
Other factors- (Altered food and blood types)
“Processed food,”Maximized Omega 6 – Inflammatory – (heavy GMO fed animal protein), when child has the RH negative blood type and does better on pasture-raised whole grain and limited pasture-raised animal protein. (Sally Fallon ‘Nourishing Traditions’) – Which in modern America ‘factory food” – the infant may have been fed little or none and Wild Caught (not-farmed and fed GMO) fish – minimal Omega3-
When Pasture-raised proteins are missing and replaced with Factory faux foods – (whole non-GMO grains & fish – not-farmed & fed GMO) protein for brain and neural development) along with the Rh negative (lacked enzyme to digest a protein (probably animal, modern pasteurized heat-altered milk allergy?)
Distended stomach, (Koskonor from storage of ‘improperly digested substrates’ that are intended for proper growth and development – particularly brain and neural development.
From 12 step program: # 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. (Forgiveness)
Parents should have used better judgement to follow their instincts & respond and adopt a “take-turns”communication style-
Skimping emotionally at bedtime – Children of parents who had parents that never read books to them, lack ‘quality time’ in the bedding process each night or but I have a sibling to sleep with…did not have the bed time fears.
Instead of listening to conventional wisdom – ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child”. With the 2nd sibling – if the mother does not attend to the emotional needs of that 2nd child – treated differently, the infant may presume – that he was not the favored child. A parent should modify the style of discipline. and avoid strict adherence to parental guidelines…without discussion or negotiations…as with curfews, etc. This for the purpose of striving to have an emotionally balanced child.
Other Issues of Unresolved Behavior-
The Unresolved issue (no matter how large or small remains in the intrinsic memory (of the primal low brain) until it can be called to consciousness and resolved & stored in the (PNC) Prefrontal cortexes of the upper brain…separate from the low brain (intrinsic reptilian binary brain)
Lindemann (1944), Lazare (1979) and Worden (2005) have identified numerous symptoms and behaviours that indicate unresolved / complicated grief.
While many of the symptoms identified can be considered ordinary during the more acute earlier phase of grief, they are considered major signs of unresolved / complicated grief if they remain for unusually prolonged periods of time.
Also, the more symptoms an individual exhibits, the more likely they are experiencing unresolved grief (Worden, 2005; Freeman, 2005). Some of the symptoms are listed below:
- Over activity without a sense of purpose
- Acquisition of symptoms belonging to the last illness of the deceased
- Alteration in relationships with friends and relatives
- Lasting loss of patterns of social interaction
- Agitated depression with tension, insomnia, feelings of worthlessness, self accusation, obvious need for punishment and even suicidal tendencies
- Furious hostility towards someone connected to the death.
Lazare’s symptoms: . “The pain of the truth is not nearly as bad as, pretending the truth does not exist.” ~Unknown
- Unwillingness to move the possessions or desire to retain & perpetuate behavior that will keep the old relationship alive in memory & not let go of the memories of the deceased (or incapacitated mentally or physically ), even after a reasonable amount of time has passed.
- A history of delayed or prolonged grief…wanting to hold on to the relationship at the time of death & transfer those feelings to others.
- Changes in current relationships following death
- A depressive syndrome to varying degrees of severity:
Men with depression may feel blue or may not get pleasure from activities they once enjoyed. But a few other things commonly show up in men that may not be recognized as depression signs and symptoms:
Escapist behavior, such as spending a lot of time at work, watching TV or on sports
- Controlling, hyper-vigilance violent or abusive behavior
- Inappropriate anger, hyper-vigilance
- Alcohol excess out of the normal range or substance abuse
Symptoms of guilt and self reproach, panic attacks and somatic symptoms
- Somatic symptoms representing identification with the deceased, often symptoms of the terminal illness
- A feeling that the death has occurred yesterday even though the loss took place a long while back
Male depression often goes undiagnosed–
Men with depression often aren’t diagnosed, for several reasons. Some of them include: Failure to recognize depression. If you’re like many men, you may think that feeling sad or emotional is always the main symptom of depression. But for many men that isn’t the primary depression symptom. For example, headaches, digestive problems, fatigue, irritability, hyper-vigilance or chronic pain can sometimes indicate depression. So can feeling isolated and seeking distraction to avoid dealing with feelings or relationships.
- Reluctance to discuss depression symptoms. As a man, you may not be open to talking about your feelings with family or friends, let alone with a health care professional. Like many men, you may have learned to place an emphasis on self-control. You may think.Resisting mental health treatment. Even if you suspect you have depression, you may avoid diagnosis or refuse treatment. You may avoid getting help
Male depression often goes undiagnosed. Men with depression often aren’t diagnosed, for several reasons. Some of them include:
- Failure to recognize depression. If you’re like many men, you may think that feeling sad or emotional is always the main symptom of depression. But for many men that isn’t the primary depression symptom. For example, headaches, digestive problems, fatigue, irritability or chronic pain can sometimes indicate depression. So can feeling isolated and seeking distraction to avoid dealing with feelings or relationships.
- Downplaying signs and symptoms. You may not recognize how much your symptoms affect you, or you may not want to admit to yourself or to anyone else that you’re depressed. But ignoring, suppressing or masking depression with unhealthy behavior won’t make it go away.
- Reluctance to discuss depression symptoms. As a man, you may not be open to talking about your feelings with family or friends, let alone with a health care professional. Like many men, you may have learned to place an emphasis on self-control. You may think it’s “unmanly” to express feelings and emotions associated with depression, and instead you may try to suppress them.
- Resisting mental health treatment. Even if you suspect you have depression, you may avoid diagnosis or refuse treatment. You may avoid getting help because you’re worried that the stigma of depression could damage your career or cause family and friends to lose respect for you.
- Inability to speak of the deceased without experiencing intense grief emotions
- Unaccountable sadness during various times of the year
- Self destructive themes-holding on to or wanting to recreate lost loved one’s relationship
- Radical changes in lifestyle
- Phobias about illness or death
- Over identification with the deceased leading to compulsion to imitate the dead person & transfer those feelings to others to maintain the feeling when loved one was alive.
- A relatively minor event triggering a major grief reaction. (PTSS)
- Exclusion of friends, family members or activities associated with the deceased.
All three have several behaviors in common..Unresolved trauma, which lead to dysfunction and depression. Depression has a dietary component that our society is in denial about…that is Processed whites, pasteurized dairy. over-heated Omega 6 oils and animal protein lead to mental dysfunction and mental illness & right function of the brain is hit or miss.
Bringing a “sin” to consciousness requires a lot of curiosity, openness. A mind closed to examining depression-
Dawn and the Depression Shadow – 2011 – HT Wagner
Shadow thoughts – The Anatomy of…
Exaggerated by fear & distrust
Makes the perceived or misperceived
Behavior of others feel like irritation to the psyche.-
Rather than taking it personally-
My mother told me that recognizing this &
Choosing to be welcoming to them
Reticence & bad temperedness of others is arduous-
But turning it into an offering &
Offering it up to God as a gift to God
Is receiving a grace…
Taking it personally takes away a grace
Why forfeit things that profit & grace us….
Good & not-so-good friends,
Good time & not-so-good times-
Good tasting food & not-so-good faux food
and spirituality nourishment all…
Can be tuned for good – (Plato’s Republic)
All are necessary for our growth-Body, Mind & Soul
Exercising Free Will-
Now we understand the science behind this….
It is located in the Limbic mid-brain
The Septum is gate keeper that allows thoughts coming from the Primal binary brain to the Free Will pass to the Insula.-
the Well Spring of grace…
High brain functions prevent depression & dysfunction…
Not shot from the hippocampus
Thoughts that are shot from the primal reptilian brain
Lack sufficient grace to realized God’s Truth
We can get riches-
By entirely refusing to let our feelings get hurt…
Forlorn Habits – Dec 2011
The Man with the Big Mac Super-sized Manhood
Bald or thinning hair-
Abdominal ‘store house’ brimming-
No longer stiecken…
Lethargic settles in for the games of the weekend
Rest a lot, exercises little
“Tissue paper feelings” – overly Sennnnsative-
set on ‘cry’- all the time..
Big boy cries “Nag, you always are criticizing me”,
Cancer of the prostate by 60-
Viagra affairs – to fill the void of meaningful relationships
Fake friends that stroke his neediness-
Religion through dogma-
Spirituality – still searching – not connecting..
But it is such a simple thing-
Running with the lemmings-
25% of the real whole food feeds our bodies systems to keep them working optimally and out of the doctors office
the other 75% – over processed fake food
(processed by tasty carbohydrates) feed our doctors….
It is such a simple thing…
Use our intelligence and not our reptilian brain
for our taste choices..
God gave us both…first Primal filtering..
then with the bookmark of Crucifixion
& the initiation of the midbrain (Holy Spirit)-
We are to put away the the things of childhood
(primal filtering tasting & thought in general)-
Pause and let the Cerebrum make the intelligent choices-
But Impulse control was not an Adaptive Quality of the Caveman-
Like the talents in the gospel – don’t just hoard them and bury them….
Grow them..use them to have healthy bodies
& minds to help others – not cry about!
Endorphins at Play – Dec 2011
Come & go…
Powered by perception & will-
When all else fails…
Engaging in genome-centric pursuits
Causes graces to flows naturally-
Boring & uninteresting occupation of time..
Endorphins become wasted or displaced
& Tax the balance sheet
The ledger of Liking-
God invites us to live in a
Fellowship with one another…
Also Called the Theory of Mind-
(Others have feeling too, just like us)
This behavior is what gives rise to endorphins
To make straight the path to empathy & altruism-
Endorphins stave off mental illness-
Counteract unpleasant relationships-
Foster bonds of togetherness-
Endorphin draining behavior-
Assuming that a thin slice of the truth
is actually the whole truth-
The amount of endorphins produced is directly Proportional to the amount of truth – Contained in the event-
Relationship Black holes-
Talk about, talk about…
(no room for grace when the tract is obstructed with idle unimportant data that gets in the way of life-
Energy does not flow on a one way blocked highway-
Tender Feelings – that get hurt easily –
(Refusing to turn the other cheek)
Envy & Jealousy (desiring objects or people not on your approved list)
Greed…(Spending God’s money)
Control (Reading God’s mind)
From the ancient hardware & software-
Not very active & inefficient & unreliable…
So why are we still using it..
Christ died to bookmark – the event of Pentacost-
Endorphin makers but are fakers to the
Temple of the Holy Spirit-
All things “enriched”
Most things white…
Soda that displaces tea, coffee & whole fruit & vegetable juices..
Extra Large portion animal food that displace whole grains, fruits& vegetables….
On account of our friendship
with the Creator…
Where is the love?….Where is the logics?
The proud only loves Ego
Does not have the equipment to love with intelligence
That came later after the Death of Christ
When the brain could handle the traffic up there.
The Ego-phyles process feelings and not logic…
That does not “compute” on the low road…
When told what the intellects says is good for them..
Exercise (breathing & fluids) helps the body’s metabolism and gives more energy to sustain-
Ego-phytes hear…my body is tried and want to sleep..
How Couch Potatoes are born…
Anatomy of a Bull Dec. 2011
Offspring – Spring off with Mother…
His job is to grow sperm.
and keep his apparatus functioning – You know…
Whole grass…that is..
Keeps his diekenstieke stiecken…
Reproduction system – keeps us a species..
The quality of the food is proportionals to the quality of support given
To all of the systems of the body-
Whole unaltered or GMO foods with complete & densely compacted nutrients
Feeds more proportionally and completely to the critical systems
and the scraps left over-go to the ‘nice-to-have systems’…
i.e. skeletal, immune, hormone & glands
& last, but not least – the reproductive system…
These ‘nice-to-have’ systems are also ‘nice-to-steal’ from
To provided needed nutrition for the critical systems-
(Brain & nervous, heart and circulatory, Respiratory)
So Let’s talk about Big Mac & French Fry & Large soda…
Processed white food diet-
The stable foods of the “Real Man”
Red fatty factory meat from stressed cattle,
(displacing Fish or Omega 3 foods)…
“Enriched” white bread-
“Whole” part stripped
& a few vitamins sprinkled in the mix…
Not even coming close to what was removed!
Displacing other whole grains-
(Oats, barley, millet, quinoa, corn…Leaving only the carbs with a destination to fat storage…only -“Once on the lips, forever & forever on the hips!)
Potatoes fried in questionable Inflammatory oil – Omega 6
Heat altered – Closer to motor-like-oil than Omega 3…
Processed white salt…
& lots of it-
And soda…a little carbonated water, a lot of sugar or diet chemicals…seemingly harmless, benign??
Containing no antioxidants for immune system
To fight cancer, colds, flue, allergies???
What are we thin thinking????
These resource hogs displace tea, coffee, 100% fruit juices, wine and other healthy beverages – to arm the immune system.
Only to line the wallets of the Western doctors-
25 % of the food we eat goes to feed our bodies and
75% of the food we eat feed our doctors!
Naked water is ‘next-of-kin’ to soda or more criminal-
It is not a nutrient – it is a transport!!
Empty of any whole foods nutrients
To be delivered to the body systems-
To ensure the normal function
& ensure a disease free environment-
Jesus’ miracles come to mind-
Wedding Feast of Canna
Jesus tuned water into wine (not 7 UP)
We play Jesus by asking our bodies
To make no-longer bioavailable substrates for our tissue-
Water (and Soda) are just empty transports…
Afternoon Prayers: Dec 2011
The Anatomy & Neurochemistry of a Mind
Sans – The Theory of Mind-
The human mind-Mindful, malleable, shaped-
increases in size and scope-
Mind – like all other organs
and parts of the human complex-
Starting with a noteworthy template-
Genome from notable, noble birthright
Royal in every way-
A rich & fertile sustainable environment
of whole unaltered nutrients
The last and equally important element is
The stable emotional environment
Balanced & whole
Mental state made up by the learned behavior from the parents-
This along with what sustains the environments
Easily inherited & the chemistry of the genome to develop
1st – gestation to age 6
Characteristics have a negative impact
Extreme gestation – stress hormones
a mother who remains in binary state of mind
“oh-so-tender” feelings…(George Castanza’s mother – no doubt)
**A diet of overly processed foods, soda & other fake foods-Vegetable & fruit grown in the wild or with animal waste, Modern faux Meat, dairy, poultry & GMO fed chicken eggs-
All Pasture-raised in the Sunlight-(not genetically engineered corn, soy alfalfa fed to the animals we eat etc…)
**Excess – in any form will heavily influence the formation of the infant brain-
Good excesses – live – begets more sustainable life
High quality music: classical, chant ,upbeat..
High quality whole unaltered food or GMO -that have been not grown or raised on chemical fertilizers or processed genetically engineered wheat…
The continuum of growth is directional proportional to the amount of wholeness or artificial fake-ness to the daily knitting of the psyche on the torso bearing the Soul-
6-12 years of age – By not the development of the Theory of mind-
Compassion – “Others have feeling just like the feelings that I have”
Should be well on it way to development along with the mind & body
One or both parents should have a well developed sense of
“Other” and frequently & gently cultivated the mind
with lots of whole, unadulterated nutritious food
that must knit & fuse mind, body & sou
“Self” will never be able to produce an appreciation & devotion to “Other”
The Neurology – The primal ‘Survival’ brain-
Flight or Fight brain-
Fed with inflammatory Omega 6 and factory animal protein-
Inefficient and Inflammatory-
Autonomic Nervous System – Built with Fixed Action Patterns-
(accounts for inflexibility and staying on-schedule mentality)
Inability to rationalize-
(limited at this level only)
100,000 BC to 0 AD
Along Came Christ-
What did He die for? What did it do?
H.S. – ‘Bookmarked the event of the Holy Spirit’
The Event of the functionality of the Midbrain-
The Limbic system and all of the parts to take incomplete thoughts sent up through the Septum – The Divided line-
so that dysfunctional thoughts could be rationalized-
and bathed in grace in the hippocampus, Insula, etc.
Taking a load off of the
(presumption fed anger, presumption fed uncertainty, presumption fed fear, coved-ness, greed and stinginess)
and most importantly prejudice, suspicion of other by presumption based hate-
—Søren Kierkegaard, Journals Feb. 1836
What matters is to find a purpose, To see what it really is that God wills that I shall do;
The crucial thing is to find a truth which is truth for me, To find the idea for which I am willing to live and die.
Life is short, art long, opportunity fleeting, experience deceptive, judgment difficult.”
502 Trevi Lane
Ellisville, MO 63011
HT Wagner@ Twitter
email@example.com – ( under construction)
JenCareBCE.com (web site)
About the Author-
Inspirational Verse in the ‘free-form’ style of Emily Dickinson-
HT Wagner – is a Freelance writer of WordPress in St Louis, Missouri
She has had a successful career in Project Manager with over 25 years’ experience in research, development and team building, with a strong background in both technical and financial services industry recruiting – building her own successful recruiting company.
She retired and suffered a series of devastating family tragedies that led to a period of deep depression and devastation. Expressing herself in poetry has helped her to rebuild a normal life.
Dee’s ‘turn on’s- are the ocean, swing dancing and comedy.
Her ‘turn-off’s’ are negative people who judge and people who hate.
She and husband of 55 years now live in St Louis close to her family.
You can email her at firstname.lastname@example.org
email@example.com – (under construction)
Inspirational Verse in the free form style of Emily Dickinson-
My Posts – End to Homelessness – (My story)
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