Verbal Aggression or Control-A Strong Risk Factor for Depression, anger-Dissociation disorders-Verbal Abuse- has ‘as Great an Effect- as Physical or Non-mistreatment

Seems like ‘poking fun’ but is really Verbal abuse!

How does ‘verbal abuse’ affect a person?

Verbal abuse, the researchers found, had as great an effect as physical or non-domestic sexual mistreatment. 

Verbal aggression or control alone turns out to be a particularly strong risk factor for depression, anger-hostility, and dissociation disorders.Apr 26, 2007-

Verbal beatings hurt as much as sexual abuse – Harvard Gazette 

When someone repeatedly uses words to demean, frighten, or control someone, it’s considered verbal abuse. You’re likely to hear about verbal abuse in the context of a romantic relationship or a parent-child relationship.Jun 28, 2018

What Is Verbal Abuse? 22 Examples, Patterns to Watch For …

What Is Verbal Abuse? 

How to Recognize Abusive Behavior and What to Do Next

When Verbal Confrontation takes on the sting of abuse!

Degradation & Manipulation –

Seems like ‘poking fun’ but is really Verbal abuse!

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Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, Ph.D., CRNP — Written by Ann Pietrangelo — Updated on March 29, 2019

  • Abuse vs. argument
  • Name-calling
  • Condescension
  • Criticism
  • Degradation
  • Manipulation
  • Blame
  • Accusations
  • Withholding or isolation
  • Gaslighting
  • Circular arguments
  • Threats
  • What to do
  • Outlook

Overview

What are the effects of emotional or verbal abuse

Staying in an emotionally or verbally abusive relationship can have long-lasting effects on your physical and mental health, including leading to chronic pain, depression, or anxiety.Sep 13, 2018

Emotional and verbal abuse | womenshealth.gov

https://www.womenshealth.gov › other-types › emotional-…

Abuse comes in many forms, not all of which are physical. When someone repeatedly uses words to demean, frighten, or control someone, it’s considered verbal abuse.

You’re likely to hear about verbal abuse in the context of a romantic relationship or a parent-child relationship. But it can also occur in other family relationships, socially, or on the job.

Verbal and emotional abuse takes a toll. It can sometimes escalate into physical abuse, too.

If you’re being verbally abused, know that it’s not your fault. Continue reading to learn more, including how to recognize it and what you can do next.

What’s the difference between ‘verbal abuse’ and a ‘normal’ argument?

We all get into arguments from time to time. Sometimes we lose our cool and yell. It’s all part of being human. But verbal abuse isn’t normal.

The trouble is, when you’re involved in a verbally abusive relationship, it can wear you down and seem normal to you.

Here are some examples of what normal disagreements look like:

  • They don’t dissolve into name-calling or personal attacks.
  • They don’t happen every day.
  • Arguments revolve around a basic issue. They aren’t character assassinations.
  • You listen and try to understand the other’s position, even when you’re angry.
  • One of you may yell or say something truly awful out of frustration, but it’s an unusual occurrence and you work through it together.
  • Even if you can’t agree completely, you’re able to compromise or move on without punishments or threats.
  • Arguments aren’t a zero-sum game: 
  • One person won’t win at the detriment of the other.

Consider it a ‘red flag’ when the other person engages in these behaviors:

  • They insult or attempt to humiliate you. Then they accuse you of being overly sensitive or say that it was a joke and you have no sense of humor.
  • They frequently yell or scream at you.
  • Arguments take you by surprise, but you get blamed for starting them.
  • The initial disagreement sets off a string of accusations and dredging up of unrelated issues to put you on the defense.
  • They try to make you feel guilty and position themselves as the victim.
  • They save their hurtful behaviors for when you’re alone but act completely different when others are around-(the ‘sales man’ personality!
  • They get into your personal space or block you from moving away.
  • They hit the wall, pound their fists, or throw things.
  • They want credit for not having hit you…

Read More-

1. Name-calling

Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a parent-child relationship, or the bully on the playground, name-calling is unhealthy. Sometimes obvious, sometimes disguised as “pet names” or “teasing,” habitual name-calling is a method of belittling you.

For example:

  • “You don’t get it, sweetie, because you’re just too dumb.”
  • “It’s no wonder everyone says you’re a jerk.”

2. Condescension

Condescension is another attempt to belittle you. The abuser’s comments can be sarcastic, disdainful, and patronizing. It’s all to make themselves feel superior.

For example:

  • “Let me see if I can put this in simple terms that even you can understand.”
  • “I’m sure you put a lot of effort into your makeup, but go wash it off before someone sees you.”

3. Criticism

There’s nothing wrong with constructive criticism. But in a verbally abusive relationship, it’s particularly harsh and persistent in an attempt to chip away at your self-esteem.

For example:

  • “You’re always upset about something, always playing the victim. That’s why nobody likes you.”
  • “You screwed up again. Can’t you do anything right?”

4. Degradation

Abusers want you to feel bad about yourself. They employ humiliation and shame to degrade you and eat away at your confidence.

For example:

  • “Before I came along you were nothing. Without me you’ll be nothing again.”
  • “I mean, look at yourself. Who else would want you?”

5. Manipulation

Manipulation is an attempt to make you do something without making it a direct order. Make no mistake about it: It’s meant to control you and keep you off-balance.

For example:

  • “If you do that, it proves you don’t care about your family and everyone will know it.”
  • “You’d do this for me if you really loved me.”

6. Blame

We’re all at fault for something once in a while. But a verbally abusive person blames you for their behavior. They want you to believe that you bring verbal abuse on yourself.

For example:

  • “I hate getting into fights, but you make me so mad!”
  • “I have to yell, because you’re so unreasonable and thickheaded!”

7. Accusations

If someone is repeatedly accusing you of things, they may be jealous or envious. Or perhaps they’re the one guilty of that behavior. Either way, it can make you question whether you’re doing something inappropriate.

For example:

  • “I saw the way you looked at them. You can’t tell me there’s nothing going on there.”
  • “Why won’t you give me your cell phone if you’ve got nothing to hide?”

8. Withholding or isolation

Refusing to talk to you, look you in the eye, or even be in the same room with you is meant to make you work harder to get their attention.

For example:

  • At a friend’s house, you say or do something they don’t like. Without a word, they storm out and sit in the car, leaving you to explain and say goodbye to your hosts.
  • They know you need to communicate about who’s picking up the kids, but they refuse to answer your calls or texts.

9. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a systematic effort to make you question your own version of events. It can make you apologize for things that aren’t your fault. It can also make you more dependent on the abuser.

For example:

  • You recall an event, agreement, or argument and the abuser denies that it happened at all. They may tell you it’s all in your mind, you dreamed it, or are making it up.
  • They tell other people that you’re forgetful or have emotional problems to solidify the illusion.

10. Circular arguments

It isn’t unusual for two people to disagree or argue about the same thing more than once until they find common ground. But abusers will reignite that old argument again and again just to push your buttons, never intending to meet in the middle.

For example:

  • Your job requires you to put in overtime without notice. Every time it happens, the argument about your tardiness starts anew.
  • You’ve made it clear that you’re not ready for kids, but your partner brings it up every month.

11. Threats

Outright threats can mean that verbal abuse will escalate. They’re meant to frighten you into compliance.

For example:

  • “When you come home tonight, you might find a ‘for sale’ sign on the lawn, and I might just be gone with the kids.”
  • “If you do that, no one would blame me for how I’d react.”

What to do

If you think you’re experiencing verbal abuse, trust your instincts. Keep in mind there’s a chance it will eventually escalate. Now that you recognize it, you have to decide how you’re going to do something about it.

There’s no single answer for what to do. A lot depends on your individual circumstances.

Reasoning with an abuser is tempting, but unlikely to work. Remember, you’re not responsible for someone else’s behavior.

But you can set boundaries. Start refusing to engage in unreasonable arguments. Let them know you’ll no longer respond to or overlook verbal abuse.

Limit your exposure to the abuser as much as possible. If you travel in the same social circles, you might have to make some difficult decisions. If you can’t avoid the person altogether, try to keep it down to situations where there are other people around.

Then, when you’re ready, cut all ties if you can. Breaking things off with your abuser can be complicated in some situations, like if you live with them, have children together, or are dependent on them in some way.

You may find it helpful to speak with a counselor or join a support group. Sometimes an outsider’s perspective can help you see things in a new light and figure out what to do next.

Outlook

Healing takes time, but it’s important not to isolate yourself. Reach out to supportive friends and family members. If you’re in school, talk to a teacher or guidance counselor. If you think it will help, find a therapist who can help you in your recovery.

If you need guidance on how to separate from your abuser or if you fear escalation, here are a few resources that will provide support:

Once you’re out of a verbally abusive situation, it’s often easier to see it for what it was.

What are the effects of emotional or verbal abuse

Staying in an emotionally or verbally abusive relationship can have long-lasting effects on your physical and mental health, including leading to chronic pain, depression, or anxiety.Sep 13, 2018

Emotional and verbal abuse | womenshealth.gov

https://www.womenshealth.gov › other-types › emotional-…

Search for: How does verbal abuse affect a person?

Read More – Eat Like Michelangelo! Creation & Not Abuse??

Eat like Michelangelo! Italian Renaissance~

Look into ‘pasture-raised’ butcher shop (google ‘in my area’)

& dial back on Factory Food to improve mood – CNS & prefrontal ‘Healthy Brain’ fat – 

In it, researchers found that one pastureraised egg contains twice as much omega-3 fat, three times more vitamin D, four times more vitamin E and seven times more beta-carotene than eggs from hens raised on traditional feed. From an agricultural standpoint, pastureraised eggs are often superior too.Jul 25, 2016 Article explains difference between pasture-raised and free-range 

– Avoid all Modern Factory Meat (fed GMO in concrete barns with roof blocking out the sun, all Modern Dairy (especially Ice Cream – Sorbet until GMO & Factory farm are banned in America – Whole Foods imports Raw Cheesed from Europe & other non-GMO countries – some still pasteurize for US imports-

& Modern Eggs – not pasture-raised –

– Same – as are modern GMO grains, GMO Grain, Soy & GMO Corn – 

(Amazon sells polenta from Italy – some – more HIGHLY REFINED – CHECK INGREDIENTS FOR PROTEIN

& Alfalfa fed to Factory Raised animals – Pasture-raised, 

Try to eating only ‘Sprouted’ grains – the natural ‘disease-causing’ seed locks & lectins in the peels are removed 

– Clean foods do not cause disease 

– Try to Eliminate ‘mortar-like’ oils & salad dressings- use pasture-raised lard or beef tallow. EV Coconut nut oil  for heat applications & EV Olive oil for cold – (low smoke point – heat destroys it) –  it does have ‘whole wheat’ (filler) which is not sprouted – 

on amazon  – CLEAN GLUTEN-FREE BECAUSE OF THE SOAKING (INSTEAD OF ROASTING PROCESS) 

Whole Sprouted Grains Of Red Wheat Berries, Quinoa, Oat Groats, Rye Berries, Barley, Amaranth, And Millet, 100% Whole Wheat Flour, Water, Sunflower Oil, Vital Wheat Gluten, Organic Honey, Oat Fiber, Cultured Wheat, Salt, Molasses, Yeast.

Still needs work – to remove indigestible parts – better than All purpose flour (enriched) -But 

Angelic Bakehouse Sprouted Seven Grain 12 Inch Flatzza Pack, 14 Ounce 

Angelic also has Sprouted breads, buns for hotdogs & hamburgers – My Pasture- raided Butcher – grinds PR ground beef & they have amazing PR hotdog & other sausages – like a Sustainable Farm!

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Dee  Wagner~Hinkle

HT Wagner@ Twitter

dwh1nine@gmail.com

314-283-8786  (text)

LinkedIn ‘restricting’ my controvercial articles – https://wordpress.com/posts/facebookcomdeehinkle2.comhttps://wordpress.co

Great Minds ~ Discuss Ideas!

Average Minds ~ Discuss Events!

Small Minds ~ Discuss People!

Smaller Minds ~ Gossip…

“Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are”…

Anthelme Brillat-Savarin wrote, in Physiologie du Gout, ou Meditations de Gastronomie Transcendante, 1826: “Dis-moi ce que tu manges, je te dirai ce que tu es.” 

We are what we believe we are.

C. S. Lewis 

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