~ Cats in Camelot

Life without a cat
Not worth living

His Presence is ~

He purrs
He plays
Hide & seek
Attacks all that moves
Hardwired to catch the mouse.

Only to Nap in a quiet spot
To begin again

The haiku is a Japanese verse in three lines.

~ Memories of Parents ~

~ Giving

She’s old now
She walks with a guarded slowness
Calculating each step

Her way and path is to give

With a quiet step, she sneaks to leave a gift,
A sugary snack,
A pleasant treat, that she should have enjoyed

Instead, her joy, her energy comes from the act of giving.
She has no earthly wealth, no costly gifts to give,
But what she gives is pure love ~ countless karats pure.

I think of the times that she wanted to give. It was daily. If she had extra food prepared, (it didn’t have to be extra even if she just had a little), she would offer it to me to take upstairs and give to George. Or if I admired something she would say that I could have it. One time, Tom and his children, Matt and Jenny, came to visit. As they were getting ready to leave, I noticed Mom searching the apartment. Soon she emerged with a knitted muffler in her hand. It was the one she wore with her good coat on Sunday. She walked over to Jenny and handed it to her. She had knitted it years ago, when she could still count and sequence. I realized that this was the last one that she had and if she gave it away she would have nothing to wrap around her ears to keep the cold away. (She hated for the wind to blow in her ears. Since she only had partial hearing in one ear, she feared earaches!) It really struck me that she would happily suffer the cold rather than allow Jenny to leave without giving her something. I told Jenny to always keep that and when she was sad, lonely or need love to find the muffler and hold it, because it contained so much love. I hope that she still has it.

~ Henry Slays the Dandelions

Today he got two buckets full of ‘em!
He turns 90 this month,
But age has not slowed his deep desire to “do just one more.”
Today it was the dandelions that were on his list.
Tomorrow it will be something else.
He can’t leave this earth just yet…
Tomorrow will be here to “do just one more.”

~ The Will to Give

In my early morning haze,
I find myself hugging my coffee cup,
Waiting for that moment of energy.
As I wait, I watch my mother and my dog.
Sadie lies silently at the old woman’s feet,
Moving only when she moves or
To catch a fat laden morsel dropped sneakily to the floor—
Like food smuggled to a prisoner.

Caught!
The old woman is caught in the act.

Confronted!
“That’s why the ants come in!” I say.

They lower their eyes knowing that they have been scolded!

Somehow we know that
The dog can always count on her treats,
The ants will come in
And the Forgetful Old Giving Tree will remember
The only thing that’s important…
The will to give.

~ Fairy Droppings

Surgery done
Healing begins.
Tiredness, tenderness, no energy,
But still the dog must be walked…
Next to the leash rests a small piece of candy and a stick of gum.
Droppings from my fairy-godlike mother.
I smile and a healing warmth moves through me.

Each day more “fairy droppings” appear…
Ding-dongs propped by the cookie jar,
An ice cream treat left in the freezer,
More paper wrapped candy pieces and sticks of gum…
Each creating a quiet smile and more healing warmth.

~ 7:30 Mass
(Recovering from a fall in Walgreens the day before) ~

Fasting.
Black bag in tow (holding her 56-year-old prayer book)
And dressy shoes —with high heels
No ‘Walking Crane’
Like an old ship ~ she lists her way to Mass.

Stability, safety are not an issue here
It’s respect.
She must look her best for Mass.
Her everyday ‘clompers’ will not do!
Somehow I know that the angels will bear her up if she stumbles!

~ His Shop Lies Empty
March 9, 1998

I found him
So peaceful
He had told me that he would just sleep away
His heart was weak after 90 years of toil
It was in ‘doing for’ that made his being
But simple tasks now made him sick
His mind and will, so strong
Life was not worth living if he could not ‘do for’ others
He took care of his mother after his father died.
He stayed with her until all the younger brothers and sisters were grown.
He gave his Orphan bride
Evelyn the family that she had never known
They gave us focus by keeping us God-centered
They taught us what is important by giving
They gave us success by teaching us to serve others
They gave us joy because there was no room left for sadness
They were simple people, needing little
All he desired was affection
He needed to know that he was loved & always there for others

His shop lies empty.
But why do I feel like I did not do enough?
I gave because I had plenty
They gave, even though they had little

His shop lies empty ~
My work group sent flowers to me

I took them to his shop.

~ A Piece of His Soul

March 9, 1999

I knew when they came to live with me
That this was to be his final destination
I prepared myself daily
Knowing the inevitable
I was sure that I would be prepared when he left

I remember waking at 3:00 AM
The early morning felt his soul disappear from me
I felt a saddening, sudden emptiness
I knew a part of me was no longer there
I was not as prepared as I planned to be
It was that moment that I understood love
The bonding love that binds and links Life forces to eternity

Now, one year later
The emptiness does not get filled
The emptiness does not leave
As full as I fill my life with nothingness
The emptiness ~ always there
It almost becomes a companion
Reminding me of what is worthwhile
Longing for the place that I call home

Saturday, October 1, 2011
First Friday & First Saturday
11:00 PM Prayers

~ Holy Space

Prayer
Layer upon layer
Waiting for the Gate to open
The air is thin
Ordinary and plain spoken
Heart broken
The touch comes from nowhere
The Living Presence shapes in the form of a gift
The air changes to amber
listening
The sounds peal
Hearing the tumult
The upheaval move near
Knowing the soft loud rustle
The diminutive, almost imperceptible Force
Settles in my soul
Nestles next to my being
Present in every way
My place in this prayer is suspended
Divinity inundates
Like a butterfly
Hold only for a heartbeat
But once held
Can never be the same
Would walk a thousand miles
to hold the butterfly again
Dale ~ Deus Always Love Eternal…

~ God For a Day

Let me be You for a day!
You can ~
Because You are God!
I would see to the cogs of creation
& count all the sparrows
Check the crops
Remember the poor
And answer their prayers
One by one
Within them is the sacred mystery of creation
I would round up the thieves and show
Them Your face
They would see honesty and overflow with humiliation
I would broadcast grace over every field
Where the Godgerm are budding
Remembering – grace looks like a cross
Too heavy to bear
The paradox
The test
Faith & knowing that a cross
Only rain
When it Rains Something grows

From the Bible ~ Amos ~
‘Thus says the LORD:
Put your house in order,
for you are about to die; you shall not recover’
Hezekiah wept bitterly

~ Atlas Shrugged
The World stutters
Wobbles & quakes
Because it can
When speaks the Maker

The Universe Created
It Stands for only a time
A nanosecond
A minute ~ Godtime

We are but chaff
seed separated by winnowing or threshing.
Husks
Blown by the Wind
The Breath of God

~ I came to sing
Late for Choir Rehearsal! Sorry!
July 2 Eclipse

I came to sing
Like a meadowlark!
Blind ~ she was & was I
She Sang for the king
But he loved her so
He gave her sight
To sing for him
She loved him so
She died.

I came to sing
& hear the sky flowing & soaring above the loft ~

I came to sing & the Music died!
The Ravens & Hawks swooped over
& drowned every single note of sweetness!

I came to sing
& the vultures swarmed
& soared in circles

I came to sing
& they gathered to breathe thoughts & regrets

I came to sing & lost heart
Lost soul
Hearing the Music that never was!

I came to sing
& found myself crying aloud for all the creative brightness
& beauty the might have been!

I cam to sing
& found a place in my core that was never lit
In darkness
Silently
There is always hope ~ more!