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My Story ~

It all Started When the Orphan Train Came from New York ‘Foundling’ Home to Subiaco Abby – April 8, 1911~

One evening (2006) summer – Deep “in the throes” of my Burnout/Depression – A blank Google page was open, so I typed ‘GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!!’ I hit the enter key & as soon as I did ~ THE PHONE RANG – It was a nun – Working with Bridges (Ignatian Spiritual Exercises)!

I had attended an introductory session in the last year, but the timing was not right – It may have been “happenstance” that she followed up ‘at that moment’- but I am so grateful that she called!

Faith Bio of H.T. Wagner Hinkle for Bridges – 2006

Psalm 139 ~ Search me O God, and know my thoughts

Test me and know my anxious thoughts…

1947-1965—Spiritual base:

Fraternal parents (Hebrew & Basque DNA) were immigrants (brave pioneers!) from Slovenia at the turn-of-the-century.

They were ‘transplanted’ in Subiaco Arkansas, a German community established around a Benedictine Abby ~ (complete with chanting monks & Vespers)

My highly scheduled, Slovenian father (Grandson of Butler for A Slovenian Noble Family) HAD to be ‘on time’ for Mass – His idea of “on time” was 45 minutes early.

That time filled with reflection & prayer!

I was held captive by the weekly Mass sounds of the Benedictine monks chanting – They were haunting to hear & even now – Hearing the Gregorian Chant – always brings me home to Subiaco…

My mother (Her mother ~ Hebrew from Ulster Ireland & her father ~ a Doctor of Metaphysics & Philosophy (French). Packed with this DNA ~ She arrived as an orphan on one of the Orphan Trains from New York on April 8, 1911. She was adopted by a large German Catholic family in Subiaco. She was devoted to Mary and the Sacred Heart & Consecrating her family in 1938

Which lead her to Henry’s Tavern & eventually to marry Henry Theodore Wagner in 1939 – They farmed a 7-acre sustainable farm, near the Subiaco Abby ~

In 1953 we moved to Little Rock.

They raised 4 children & we all desired & were determined to a ‘higher’ education – We all attended parochial schools through High School.

In grade school, I was always drawn to spirituality at age 8 – I had a “knowing” inside & assumed that I would likely become a nun someday.

I “broke rank” in private education & attended a state school for college. My father insisted that I become a nurse (pre-med was my major) – After 2 years, I chose to marry & we moved to Columbia Missouri for graduate school.

Then Moving to Westminster College, Fulton, MO (10 years) – I received my BS in Education and taught at St. Peter’s elementary school ~ So I could have the summers off with the children. Unfortunately, teaching was not ‘in my l Good News Bible – Always retaining my interest in science, growing plants & cats!

Our children were born: 1969 & 1971…

In the mid 70’ we bought a True Value Hardware and operated it to mid-’80s – Economic conditions turned down, Callaway Nuclear canceled the 2nd unit and a regional mall was built in Columbia only 25 miles away. These events. removed our business base for the Christmas and the Spring seasons.

With 2 children (about to start college) and $250K in debt – We closed the store & moved to St Louis –

Both of us – started over with 100% commission positions. Thinking back, It did not seem a loss – Nor did it make me anxious – Only quiet confidence. …

Trusting & ‘Trying to shine through our Sorrows & Rise to Love Him still’ –

Likely ‘encoded in my DNA’ as ‘those who went before me’ ~ Pioneers from Europe, starting over & surviving World Wars, Depression –

Using The Abby sounds to find their Center –

That is all I knew – Things seemed to fall in place.

Then, as before, I felt closely connected to God.

In ten years we had paid for 2 college educations, paid the debt on the store.

From 1987 to 2000 I was an ‘Information Systems’ Recruiter (Head Hunter)~

My recruiting business developed into a 2 million dollar business after 13 years with a team of 5 to 8 recruiters – When I left, they gave me a gold St. Joseph’s medal, knowing my devotion to him.

In 1995, we moved to Ladue & remodeled the large basement to an apartment & shop for my Father & Mother, relocating them from Little Rock – to live with us – This was one of the happiest times of my life – Camelot – Like Subiaco!

Knowing that they were safe and allowing us to care for them – My parent’s Rosary reverberated through the floor (as we watched TV above).

This is when I began to pray the rosary in my commute.

I asked my father, Henry, to make a finger rosary out of some of the wood from his shop – The Rosary saw us through life’s travails – always!

My father died in 1998 & our mother moved to Tulsa to live with my sister.

I was at the top 13-year of a High Functioning Project Manager of 5-8 recruiters, ‘comradery & synergy’! When the ‘KNOWING INSIDE’ signaled that it was time to make a change!

In 1999 – This is when I first started to look around and say “God, where are you??”

I was LED to move out of our home in Ladue & was recruited by STARTUP Company for as Director of The job was Director of Recruiting for a ‘From-Scratch Recruiting Department’ in a company that was developing an electronic platform for the mortgage industry ~ which had a “downturn” in 2003 ~

Still recruiting to build this software platform, but the Downturn only made things worse – Recruiters laid off, High Stress, but still determined to do the job!

The likely beginning of the ‘Perfect Storm’ ~ In 2000, I changed my diet from Total Cereal (1/2 dairy) to Protein Powder (Body-food only), Modern CAFO-GMO Yogurt, Milk & Fruit!

I soon began to experience ‘Cognitive Burnout’ It took me 17 years to figure the Brain – CAFO-GMO food connection!

Dodging Darts of Western Medicine & Fear Mongering –

MANIC IS ALL BAD – Without taking into consideration 100 years of Amazing Pioneer DNA ~ Nor was the CAFO-GMO (missing ‘Plant Protein & Seafood Protein for the CNS & Prefrontal Cognitive Brain! CAFO-GMO Muscle meat was the ONLY PROTEIN & White Bread – Their Daily Bread! (Refined with ‘Disease-Causing Carbs & only 2 grams of Plant protein!

But like ‘Chiron’. In Greek mythology, Chiron was wounded by Hercules. Though he was immortal, it is said that he invented medicine in order to heal himself. Chiron was also the teacher of the hero, Achilles, who was thought to have had some special medical knowledge-Sept. 16, 2002

In 2002, I read Psalms a lot, particularly in the middle of the night when I could not sleep…

My sister and her husband were struggling after our Mother died in 2001…

In April 2005, my husband’s team left ML to open office for a competitor,

** The next week his father suddenly died from an aneurysm …

** The next week my company sold & they wanted me to travel to Cleveland to spearhead hiring 300 people…

** The next week my daughter had a miscarriage…

** The next week my cousin’s house burned…

All of this was on top of me being totally’burned out’ ~ working 12 hour days for the previous year.

2005-2006 were particularly difficult years.

I finally retired – BURNED-OUT~ (Cognitive)

This began my Journey into DARKNESS-

& began my experience into THE ‘DARK-SIDE’ OF WESTERN MEDICINE (PHARMA)

combined with a stressful job (Cortisol)

& the REVENGES OF THE SAD (DEAD) AMERICAN DIET – CAFO PROCESSED GMO FOODS!

TOO MUCH (GMO fed) ANIMAL PROTEIN (MUSCLE MEAT), TOO LITTLE (UnAltered) PLANT PROTEIN – MIA! Not enough Seafood Protein!

DUE TO OVER-MILLING

OVER-HEATING (Pasteurization & Roasting of raw Nuts, seeds UNCLEAN-NOT SOAKED)

& GMO grains – (Magnifying the Glutens & Lectins) as well as the grain itself.

AND THE MOST DAMAGING…

POSSIBLE CONTRIVANCES OF THE ‘MEAT & DAIRY CARTEL’???

Western Medical ‘professionals’

Did NOT take INTO ACCOUNT-THE ‘GIFT’ OF MY INHERITED DNA! & MY CHOICE OF THE SAD (CAFO) AMERICAN DIET…

THE PERFECT STORM TO CAUSE ‘COGNITIVE BURNOUT!’

I spent many hours reading scriptures, particularly the Prophets.

Also, participated in 2 year-long Bible studies of Genesis and Romans, Revelations …

After 17 years, Slow recover my spirit & my cognitive skills.

Now years of Research of the Dangers of Industrial Farm Methods, Starting a business to help create awareness of GMO, Over-Milling grains, Heat-Altering & EXCESS of them all…

Through these years I would characterize my spiritual journey as by-the-book Catholic.

To this day, I cannot remember missing Sunday Mass ever; prayers before meals & maybe a few brief night prayers.

I now go to confession more often (FREE THERAPY!)

I often longed to find a spiritual community that my family experienced at Holy Souls. We came close at St. Peter’s, in Fulton, but can’t seem to find in St. Louis.

I pray the Rosary and The Divine Chaplet daily and I have read Henri Nowen, Tom Merton, St Theresa of Avila.

The Fatima Garden at the Carmelite Monastery & At Mother of Good Council Nurshing Home are my Joy & my responsibility to Plant, weed & water…

I still feel like I am chasing after God.

After LOOSING 2 very close SINGLE (FROM DIVORCE) NEPHEWS – (to taking their own lives)

RELYING ON TAINTED INDUSTRIAL MEAT & ‘MOLD-LIKE’ MODERN DAIRY…

My cognitive mind was slowly burned out

With NO NEW SUPPLIES OF PLANT PROTEIN & FISH TO MAINTAIN & RESTORE IT.

HE (some say God) fed the ‘multitudes ‘ with Barley Loaves & Fishes ~ (Not Altered CAFO-GMO) – Just natural Ancient grains (plant protein) & Seafood (both oil & protein)

Why I do this – The story of Billy…

The End to Senseless Loss of Lives – END to GMO & SAVE US ALL & Donuts & Return to Sanity!… THE WALL TO BE TAKEN DOWN-GMO

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/end-senseless-loss-lives-gmo-dee-hinkle/

“Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are”…

Anthelme Brillat-Savarin wrote, in Physiologie du Gout, ou Meditations de Gastronomie Transcendante, 1826: “Dis-moi ce que tu manges, je te dirai ce que tu es.”

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