Friday, March 8, 2019

Remembering Dad – Henry Theodore Wagner

He was too tired (from his stay in the hospital)
to finish cooking their meal
So I went down to help
& we had a lovely meal…
(Sunday Evening) Our Last Supper…

It just seems like yesterday…

He was the one to teach me to pray to the “Sacred Heart” …
for a “Happy Death’- (Sweet release of Life)…
My Orphan Mother game me the Rosary!
Henry’s baby brother – Eberhart (Uncle Abe) taught me the ‘right use’ of wine…
His homemade!

It worked for them
& it will work for all of their children, grandchildren…
I BELIEVE…
& I believe in the Gift of DNA!!

Remembering Dad – Henry Theodore​ Wagner
The name Theo is a Greek baby name.
Greek the meaning of the name Theo is:
God-given​. (A Hebrew-Basque)…
Theo – SheKnows
https://www.sheknows.com/baby-names/name/theo/

Thoughts of Henry & Evelyn

Henry Slays the Dandelions

Today he harvested – two buckets full of ‘em!
Pickax​​ to lean on between hits

He turns 90 this month,
But age has not slowed his deep desire to “do just one more.”

Today it was the dandelions that were on his list.
Tomorrow it will be something else.
He can’t leave this earth just yet…
Tomorrow will be here to “do just one more.”

The Will to Give

In my early morning haze,
I find myself hugging my coffee cup,
Waiting for that moment of energy.

As I wait, I watch my mother and my dog.
Sadie lies silently at the old woman’s feet,
Moving only when she moves or
To catch a fat-laden​ morsel dropped sneakily to the floor—
Like food smuggled to a prisoner.

Caught!
The old woman is caught in the act.

Confronted!
“That’s why the ants come in!” I say…

They lower their eyes knowing that they have been scolded!

Somehow we know that…
The dog can always count on her treats…
The ants will come in…
And the Forgetful Old Giving Tree will remember the only thing that’s important…
The will to give.

His Shop Lies Empty
March 9, 1998…

I found him,
So peaceful.
He had told me that he would just sleep away.
His heart was weak after 90 years of toil.
It was in “doing for” that made his being
But simple tasks now made him sick.
His mind and will, so strong
Life was not worth living if he could not “do for” others.
He took care of his mother after his father died.
He stayed with her until all the younger brothers and sisters were grown.
He gave Evelyn the family that she had never known.
They gave us focus by keeping us God-centered.
They taught us what is important by giving.
They gave us success by teaching us to serve others.
They gave us joy because there was no room left for sadness.
They were simple people, needing little.
All he desired was affection,
He needed to know that he was loved…

His Ship Lies Empty
But why do I feel like I did not do enough?
I gave because I had plenty.
They gave, even though they had little.

His shop lies empty.
My work group sent flowers to me,
I took them to his shop.

A Piece of His Soul
March 9, 1999

I knew when they came to live with me
That this would be his last stop
I instinctively knew
& reminded me​ daily
Knowing the inevitable….
I was sure that I would be ready
For the time when he left.

I remember waking at 3:00 AM
The morning he died…
I felt a sudden saddening​ of emptiness.
I knew a part of me was no longer there.

I was not as prepared as I planned to be.
It was that moment that I understood agape love​…
The bonding love that binds & links life force.
Anchors …
Tethers to the ‘ground of confidence’
That one free to aspires & is able to create…​

Now, one year later
The emptiness does not leave…
Nor is it filled …
As I fill my life with nothingness
The emptiness is always there…
It almost becomes a companion,
Reminding me of what is worthwhile.
Longing for that place​ that I call home.
The Bond of Attachment broken…
It was knit
Like a ticking bomb…
Going back to…
His bond…
Ear to the pocket watch in his bib overalls
As he rocked me to sleep